Call it what you want…  Muppet speak, Tyler-eese, or plain nonsense….

If you’re here, you’re probably curious about learning this new language. We know, reading is hard. But, put on your dumb glasses and browse the handy alphabetical index below for many of Tyler’s bestest words, quotes and ideas.

This page will be updated as we learn more about this mysterious language.


Indicates a Nasty Muppetionary Entry

Indicates a Phrase uttered by the Nasty Muppet

Indicates an Entry Requested On-Air by Lino, Mark, or Fr Jim

# | A | BC | DEF | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z


Library 1

Tyler-Ism Library
  33 and 1 hours long  - the total time of Charles Lindbergh's transatlantic flight from New York to Paris.   (04/16/19)
  37 (noun) –  A number between 100 and 300.  (6/12/2018)
6, half dozen, or the other” –  A Muppet's way of comparing similar things.  You should know what this means as it is ‘common knowledge’, according to the Nasty Muppet. This phrase is nasty muppet for “six of one, half dozen of the other” or if taken literally 36 different items as in 6 multiplied by 6. (1/23/2018)  (Podcast 317)   – Requested Entry by Mark Hart


Library A

Tyler-Ism Library
  A cappella (adverb or adjective) –  a imaginary form of singing without musical accompaniment.   Per Muppet musicology, a real song must include musical backtracks.

 “I’m the most accidentally smartest guy in the room.”  Said after learning that he beat Fr. Jim in the IQ test.   (Podcast 305, 10/24/17)

 Actually (adverb) – Tyler uses this to indicate when something is of quality despite the best efforts of the person he is describing.  Example: “Cardinal Dolan is actually a pretty smart and funny dude.”

 Age of Cognitive Reasoning  – Muppet for "Age of Reason."  (1/15/2018)

 “Agree to disagree.”  Used when needing the final word in an argument.

 Amazon Jungle (noun) – A place you can visit in South America after paying Jeff Bezos a small fee.  (1/24/2017)

 Anchoress  - a female anchorman, also known as an anchorwoman.  Example: "Jane Pauley doesn't know much Italian, but she's a decent anchoress."  (5/28/19)

 “I just set my self to be kicked in the… I don’t have anything.” Hey-oh!  (10/11/17)

 Aramaia (noun) – an area in the greater-general regions of modern day Jerusalem, the Turkey, the Egypt and the Middle East (aka western Asia).  Language of the people living in Aramaia is Ancient Aramaic.   (Podcast 317)
 Ascension (noun) – As described in the "Easteride" parody, the event 40 days after Jesus' resurrection, when He got tired wasting time and putzing around earth and decided to move to Heaven.  (Podcast 287, 6/2/7)
  Assisi (noun) –a town in Italy that "looks very nice" and is the alleged birthplace of St. Francis of Assisi.  (01/30/19)
 " You've never seem me run or anything.  I'm much more athletic than you are.  I'm just lazy and out of shape, but I'm very athletic.”  (3/15/2018) "Even now, I"m pretty athletic.  I'm not in shape, but that doesn't mean I'm not athletic.  I can do a lot of things, it's just I can't do it for very long, 'cause I'm going to run out of energy."  (6/6/19)

 Auction (noun) – Muppet for a giveaway that you bid on. (9/20/17)

  Audibilize (adjective) – to say something out loud.  Example: "It's important to audibilize your argument well when you're in Judge Rulli's courtroom."  (9/7/2018)
  Available in Court (phrase) –  In Muppet, meaning "admissible in court."  Example: "Any piece of evidence is available in court, as long as it's followed by the phrase, "Johnnie Cochran.""  (8/23/2018)


Library B

Tyler-Ism Library
  Baby Canada (noun) – Minnesota.  People from Minnesota are polite and have the same accent as Canadians, so they are pretty much Baby Canada. (1/24/2018)
  Bachelors' party (noun) – a party with "a bunch of dudes," where there are typically multiple bachelors/unmarried men in attendance.   Contrary to popular belief, the party is not just for the groom-to-be, but is named for all bachelors who attend.   Example: "Wherever two or more unmarried men meet to drink and engage in reverie, there you will find a bachelors' party." (01/22/19)

 “Yeah, back to my cage.” When Tyler goes too far and Lino cuts him off and sends him back to his cage.

 “Bears are fast.” A classic Tyler phrase rooted in his advanced study of zoology. (10/12/17)

  Bible (noun) – A movie that was made into a book or ” The only thing in Mark Hart’s life he hasn’t eaten.” (1/23/18);  a book dictated or something  by Jesus about his Jesus adventures.  (4/23/18)
 Bicept (noun) – In Muppet anatomy, the large muscle in the upper arm between the shoulder and the elbow.   Works with the tricept when flexing.  Example: “A little known fact about Mark is that he has a tattoo on each of his bicepts.  One reads ‘Be not afraid…’ and the other ‘to show off these guns.”  (2/15/18)  Also spoken again on 1/30/19, when Tyler explained, "I don't really like saying it without the 'T," though.  I think it sounds better with the "T" and I'm going to bring the "T" back."  (1/30/19)
 Bill Belichick – The worst individual to be around this planet Earth since Satan himself.”  (1/25/28).    "He could cure hunger, cancer, or win seventeen Super Bowls and I would still hate him."  (6/7/18)
 Bi-opic - Muppet for "biopic," a biographical film.  As Tyler explains, "I always say "bi-opic."  I just like saying "bi-opic," because normally that word is put together and it reads to me "bi-opic" and "bi-opic" sounds cool."  (6/7/19)
 Bishops may be priests, but they’re also bishops and they have pointy hats that are very expensive; and that expensive hat is a symbol of the house that he is in.  You must have a nice house to have a nice hat.”   An argument for why bishops should live in mansions in the Judge Rulli segment.  (Podcast 300, 9/15/17).
  Blarney Stone (noun) –  "something someone pees on in Ireland."  Example: "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!  He drank so much Guinness that he took a slash on the Blarney Stone."  (6/29/18)

 Book (noun) – A disease ridden medium of information.  They are like radioactive to the Nasty Muppet.  Also a play put into a book. (1/24/18)

 Boy Scouts – a sham organization where youth are encouraged to complete tasks and make derby cars in attempts to earn meaningless badges.  Example: "The boy scouts give you badges to encourage you to do more.  But what do the badges get me?  Nothing.  It's working for nothing!"  (6/6/2018)  

 Brain Transplant (noun) – When Tyler lost his ability to think and speak coherently. (1/30/2018)

 BRB – acronym for “Bring your own beer” in Muppet.  Example: “Grabbing a shower.  BRB.”  (1/24/18)

 “Even a Broken Squirrel finds a nut twice a day.”

 “Ooo, we have a Bunsen Burner, what else can we burn?” (2/7/2018)

 Buttons -  (noun) - Tyler's kryptonite. Trying to push buttons correctly reduces Tyler's IQ by 50 points and increases Lino's blood pressure by double.


Library C

Tyler-Ism Library
  Camping (noun) – the activity of spending a vacation in a camp, tent, or camper.  It's basically the same thing as the army, just without guns involved.   Example: "I don't need to see Black Hawk Down.  I went camping, so I already know what the film is all about." (01/22/19)
 Cashews - a "cheap, crappy food that they can get rid of at bars 'cause people are too drunk to know otherwise."  Example: "After three or four White Russians, cashews become a little less nasty."  (6/17/19)

 “Caves are measured in bear units in my world.  It’s one small cave for one bear.  You get a double cave for two bears and so on.”   Was crucified Jesus laid in a cave or a tomb?  That depends… how many bears were in there with him? (1/9/18)

Feast of the Chair of St. Peter (noun) – a Church feast day celebrating the actual act of St. Peter sitting on his chair.  Example: "The Feast of the Chair of St. Peter is one of my favorite holidays, because it celebrates sitting, which is something I like to do in my spare time." (01/25/19)
 Chast - (adverb) [Pronounced: Ch-Ass-D] - The art of maintaining the virtue of chastity. (3/14/18)
  Chicken Pot Pie (noun)  – a meal that one can buy at the store and bake in the oven; one of the few foods that Tyler can make; (4/25/18).  Also, a meal served only on Monday's.   (7/19/18)  Example: "I can't cook, but I can pick up a chicken pot pie and put it in the oven."
 Circuatous (verb) – Muppet speak for “going in a circle.”  (09/20/17)
 Circus (noun) –  The last resort of humanity and the lowest rung in society or anything, which is only a small step above a career in public access television.  (7/25/18)
 City of Minnesota (noun) – a U.S. metro commonly known as the “Land of 10,000 Lakes.”  It was admitted as the 32nd U.S. state in 1858, and demoted to city status in 2018 by the Council of Tyler.  (2/1/18)  Also known as the "State with one thousand lakes," (8/13/18) and a vast land of vacant spaces and cows (12/7/18).
 The Cloud Place (noun) – another dimension where people’s souls, or eh, whatever, go when they die. (1/15/18)
 Common Cold  (noun) – a viral, infectious disease of the upper respiratory tract that is caught only in cold places.  Common colds do not exists in the Holy Land because,  "That's why they call it colds is because it has to be cold for you to get one  You can't get viruses when it's all dried out and hot.  Science!".  (4/3/18)  In America, colds are prevalent only in the wintertime, when it's cold.  The heat of the summertime (any temperature over 70 degrees) and the aborptions of Vitamin D from the sun, strengthens the immune system and makes humans like a Super Man and almost immortal to colds.   However, being wet while in a over-70's temperature may still result in a cold.  (7/22/19)  
 Coloclial (adjective) – The correct way to describe something. (7/16/2018)
 “I'm able to communicate in spite of my words.  I think that makes me an amazing communicator.  I add words that make things more confusing... and yet you guys kinda understood what I was talking about anyway.  That makes me amazing.”  Yep.  Tyler lacks the tools to communicate, but Lino's ability to understand him anyway somehow makes Tyler the amazing one.  (06/18/2019)

 “Are you allowed to go to confession and tell the priest good things too?” (1/24/2018)

 Top Consciousness / Middle Consciousness / Sub Consciousness / Un Consciousness  (nouns) – The four primary levels of Muppet Consciousness that measure responsiveness to stimuli from the environment.  Actual defining benchmarks of each level is not fully established and terms may be used interchangeably.  Example: “When my middle consciousness tries to hint at the existence of God, I drown it with beer and violent video games until it succumbs to a state of unconsciousness.”  (2/9/18)   Requested entry by Lino Rulli

 Corn (noun) – a cereal plant found only in America and is therefore an “American thing.”  The Bible does not mention corn, “ergo, they didn’t have it.”  Historical evidence that corn was first domesticated in Mexico 10,000 years ago is Fake News.  (3/8/18)

 “Corners are Sharp” – Because we all know going into the corner can be dangerous. (1/24/2018).

 “I thought the therapist’s couch was a place where they took a nap, like you know, between appointments.”  (2/2/2018)

 “Crossing the I's and dotting the T's...” Only the mostest detail-oriented person would say something like this. (9/4/18)

 The Baltimore Cults (noun) – American football franchise originally based in Baltimore, Maryland, from 1953 to 1984.    Now known as the Indianapolis Colts. (Podcast 300, 9/15/18)

  Curving on a grade (phrase) –Muppet for "grading on a curve."   Example: "St. Peter is known for curving on a grade when he's conducting interviews for admission to Heaven, which is why us nasty atheists still get a chance at eternal paradise." (01/25/19)


Library D

Tyler-Ism Library
  Damn (noun) –  a homonym for the "one that beavers make and then one that we all go to."  We're not sure if Tyler is sending us all to a nature-created dam or to actual damnation.   (6/27/18).
  Dashedly (adjective) –wicked and cruel.  Muppet for "dastardly."  Example: "The selling of BearsAreFast merchandises was nothing more than a dashedly attempt to earn as much money as possible for pure profit."  (02/05/19)
  Dates  (noun) – the most overrated dessert ever, which tastes like honey but not really. (4/5/18)

 “How come his dead body didn’t float, don’t dead bodies float?” – The Nasty Muppet talking about Jack at the end of the movie Titanic. (1/22/2018)

 “I think it makes it more effective.  You know, you take a depressant with a depressant, then you have a Super Depressant.”  Tyler explains the fundamentals of pharmocology when mixing alcohol and over-the-counter sleeping pills. (1/10/18)

  Desert (noun) – simply, a sandy beach without any water.  Example: "The Sahara Desert isn't a very popular beach due to the number of insects found there."  (8/28/2018)
  Destiny (noun) –the changing, inexact events that will absolutely happen to a particular person or thing in the future.  A sexy word, with a definition has changed over the years.  Example: "It's Tyler's destiny to host Family Feud, unless things change and he ends up a radio show producer instead."  (02/20/19)
Dinosaur (noun) – May have been what St. George killed.  See Also: Dragon  (4/23/2018)
 “I'm sorry.  I just got distracted for one minute.  I was having Jackie bring me a pen.”  Tyler was paying attention, he swears.  It's not easy to wait for someone to bring you a pen and produce a show simultaneously.   (6/27/18)
  Document (noun) – official paper relied on as the basis, proof, or support of something.  "Xeroxing," or photocopying something, automatically makes something an official document.  Example: "The DMV wanted proof of my new address, so I scribbled it on a napkin, Xerox-ed it, and made an official document."  (03/20/19)
 Dragon (noun) – A creature that may or may not have existed.  Found in Asia, why else would they be part of the zodiac?  The last one was killed by St. George.  See also: Dinosaur.  (4/23/2018)


Library E

Tyler-Ism Library
  Effergy (noun) –  Muppet for "effigy" a crude representation of someone disliked, used for purposes of ridicule.  Example: "When they were kids, I heard nasty Walt Disney hanged a bunch of Muppets in effergy in declaration of war against Jim Henson."  (6/14/18)
  Effortly  (adverb) –  Muppet for "effortlessly."  Example: "Gus is able to pull off a daily radio show effortly, because he doesn't really try to make a quality broadcast."   (8/15/2018)
 Eleventy  (noun) –  a numeral described as "about eleven, but maybe not quite eleven."  Also a non-canonical (and non-number chapter) from Matthew's gospel that describes Jesus calming the winds.  Example:  "And on the eleventy day, God made motorcycles for man to go faster than his feet could carry him..." (5/21/2018)
 Elmer's Glue  (noun) – an adhesive glue made by extracting glue from horses.   (4/4/18)

 English is good for me.”   Why do we avoid those things that are best for us?  (1/18/18)

  Euuugggghhhhh.”  Tyler’s hallmark funny sound from the “Say Hi to Me” parody.  Used by Fake Tyler on demand when a ridiculous sound is necessary.

 You can’t curse evil and the Patriots are evil so your Gooch powers don’t work on them.”  (1/23/18)

 Exercising the demoniacs  (noun) – meaning to "exorcise," a ritual conducted to drive out evil spirits from a person possessed by demons. ." Example: "The first thing the priest did when he arrived at the haunted gym was to exercise the demoniacs." (09/27/2018)

  The extreme of consciousness”  – Muppet for “stream of conscious” when reading Fr. Jim’s homily.  Example: “Fr. Jim allowed us to peek into his extreme of counciousness when he retold the story of his spat with his college roommate,  Chris.”  (Podcast 301, 9/21/17)


Library F

Tyler-Ism Library
  Fake Knowledge – Knowledge that you have that turns out was either fake news or just incorrect. Used in a sentence: Most of the knowledge Tyler has is fake knowledge. (7/25/18)

 I was like a fart in the wind, I was just gone.”  The first time anything concerning flatulence was ever uttered on Catholic radio.   It was a gas.  (2/19/18)

 Fastidious - deriving from the word "fast," meaning to be "fast to write something down quickly", often as a result of laziness.  In reference to Matthew writing one of the gospels, Tyler said,"They're very fastidious, those tax collectors.  They know how to write down stuff."  (6/18/19)
FASTPASS (noun) – A martyr's path to heaven is like the FASTPASS lane.  They took the easy way.  (4/23/2018)
 Fetish - (noun) - Loving to talk about one's own death.  Tyler claims he does know the real definition, but choose to use it incorrectly.  (5/1/2018: Kermuppets Day)
 “The mind is just a fickle mistress... you just don't know what it's going to come up with.” Suddenly, Tyler's mind is a scandalous temptress. (9/26/18)

 “Fireworks are inherently stupid.” (1/16/2018)

 Flirting Process – a three step process for flirting and attracting mates.  Step 1) Show some thigh.   Step 2) Throw out a one-liner.  Step 3) Release mating call (See “Rrrewhhhhhhhhhh“.    (2/13/18)

  I did flummox that word.”  An ironic response as Tyler admits he mispronounced a word.

  Free Beer (noun) – Something given out on Tyler’s flight when he’s heading to Notre Dame.  (10/20/17)

 Fresca (noun) – Muppet for "fresco," a painting done rapidly in watercolor on wet plaster on a wall or ceiling.  Example: “Some historians say that Filippo Brunelleschi was both partially Polish and a great fresca painter, but he died before the Renaissance, so that claim is unsubstantiated."  (7/20/18)
 Fun Lent (noun) – Muppet for “Advent.”  Period of preparation for Christmas that is characterized by fun, revelry and unabashed gluttony. (11/30/17)


Library G

Tyler-Ism Library
  Gallant (adjective) – in Muppet, something that is "very good, but in a classy way." Or, "It can mean whatever you want it to mean."  Example: "Dad Rulli feared for the worst when his organ wouldn't perform at Catholic Guy Con, but his efforts were gallant when it finally began to sing out."  (8/28/2018)
  Galossians (noun) –  the 74th book in the Bible, created by combining Galatians and Colossians.  Example: "My favorite Bible verse comes from Golossians: For God so loved the world that he made fast the bears." (6/12/2018)
  Geographist (noun) –  a person who is well learned in geography, particularly in US/Canadian regions.  Example: "I'm no geographist, but I know Minnesota is the 7th providence in Canada.  (8/17/2018)
 George Step-an-op-o-gus  - an American television host, political commentator, and former Democratic advisor.

 “Give me a minute, it might take me a minute to Get It Up.” – Tyler requesting time to prepare… to retrieve a sound clip when he pronounced the name of George Stephanopoulos in the Open as “George Stephanupagus” and Lino asked him to play it again. (3/8/18)

 "I am not sure if glasses were invented in the 1600's or not." (5/31/18)
  Gold tooth (noun) –a single dental prosthesis used to intimidate and instill fear in strangers.  Tyler explains that it's similar to "Getting a tattoo on your face;  you don't mess with those people... People got the point that I'm a dangerous person with one [gold tooth], but you get two and then it's just silly." (01/30/19)
  Gong  (noun) – a "good and a bad thing" that is "used for good or evil" in Asian cultures. Also a percussion instrument played when an Asian person enters the room. (12/2/2018)
  Grab my arm  (phrase) – phrase that has the same meaning or connotation as twist my arm Example: "If you want me to make a new song parody about Fr. Jim not taking a DNA test, just ask me. You don't have to grab my arm." (10/15/2018) 
 Greeks - a fun ethnic group native to Greece, that is known for making whimsical music, taking summers off,  and having their country be in debt.  (6/04/19)


Library H

Tyler-Ism Library
 Ham Sandwich (noun) – food of choice on Friday’s during Lent to help support the chicken farming industry (3/2/18).  Also, a commodity that is very difficult to find in the Holy Land (6/29/18).
 Harmonica (noun) – An ancient Aramaic Instrument. (1/24/2018) (Podcast 317)

 I feel like people aren’t as afraid of Hell as they used to be, like in the 50’s.  Like, Hell was a big deal in the 50’s.  It’s kind of like lost it’s luster in the two-thousand-teens.  Or whatever this decade is called.” Tyler suggests that the Church make Hell Hot Again to revitalize attendance.  (1/10/18)

 Hey Lino long time no speak to.”– Upon Lino’s return from Hawaii this was Tyler’s greeting. (4/24/17)

 Heresy (noun)  – As sung in the Hey Heresy parody: "Interpreting the Bible went awry/and I made Baby Jesus cry/it doesn't seem to matter if I try/I still blaspheme.  Hey Heresy!  (4/12/18)
 Hindsight  - understanding of a situation immediately after something happens.  Example: "When Tyler opened the new game without first playing an open, Lino realized in hindsight, that Tyler did not do any work that day."  (5/14/19)

 Hobbies (noun) – an activity done in one’s leisure time for pleasure.  Invented in 1880’s after mass production of stuff allowed for people to have things needed for hobby activities.  Prior to the 1880’s, society lacked the material goods to have hobbies and resorted to churning butter and riding horses.  Example: “What did Jesus do between his resurrection and ascension since hobbies weren’t invented yet?”  (Podcast 283, 5/2/17)

 Home Economics (noun) – The study of etiquette like manners or whether to use the big fork or the little fork.  (1/23/2018)

 Home Hoodie (noun) – a official, designated survivor hoodie that is free of the dirt of NYC and is worn only at home.  Example: “As soon as I get home, I’m running to the second floor, prying off this nasty away hoodie, and putting on my clean-but-worn-four-days-in-a-row home hoodie.”  (2/2/2018)
 Hoodies (noun) –a hooded sweatshirt that is the preferred Muppet uniform.  Also a way of rating things, like movies.  Example: “I rate Jurassic Park at four hoodies as it is the best movie of all time.”
 Hucking  (verb) - an activity inspired by Huckleberry Finn, of going on an organized trip to several different places throughout a region, particularly in the south.   Example: "Mark Hart goes hucking all over the south telling people about the Bible and bad 80's music."  (8/13/18)
 Humphrey Bogarts (noun) – Not to be confused with Humphret Bogart – (Intro to Podcast 299, 8/8/17)


Library I

Tyler-Ism Library
 “I don’t know how to make food.” – describes Tyler’s culinary skills. (1/16/2018)  "I just don't have the genes for it... my mom does and I don't."  (4/25/18)

 Icky (adjective) [Latin: ickeous maximus} – A feeling of not goodness.  Requested by Mark Hart (1/24/2018)

 In thorough  - a manner of doing something in depth or in detail.  Saying "in thorough" instead of "thoroughly" makes you sound smarter.  Example:  "Jen Fulwiler sometimes doesn't understand how games are played, despite Lino and Tyler explaining the rules in thorough."  (5/10/19)
  Inaugural/Inaugreal/Innaugreal/Inaugaral (noun) – the various mispronunciations of "inaugural".    Example: "in•AUGH•ree•ahl, IN•aug•REE•AHL, in•AUGH•ARR•ahl."
 Indignant (adjective) – used to describe Bob Dylan’s Christmas album. Quote: "I'm indignant, you're indignant, it's indignant."  (12/13/2017 and 8/13/18)
 “You have information go into your head, and the the booze has the information go out of your head... You don't know anything about science.”  Tyler's explanation for how drinking completely erases any memory of what happened prior in the same day.   (04/29/2019)

 “My intelligence is very smooth.” – Tyler discussing his intellectual capacity. (2/7/2018)

  Invisible Letters (noun) –letters in a word that are sounded but not actually found within the word.  For example, Greg Allman is pronounced "Greg AllmanD."  Bicep is pronounced "bicepT."  Example: "Everyone knows that of all of the brothers, Greg Allmand's bicept was the largest."  (02/25/19)


Library J

Tyler-Ism Library
 "Once you go Japanese, you don't go back-an-ese.”   Tyler's explanation for why the he prefers the original Ninja Warrior production over the American Ninja Warrior spin-off.   (05/24/18)

 Jeasus-y Time (Noun) – The time when Jesus was on the Earth-y.   (1/17/18)

 After Jeasus-y Time (Noun) – The time when Jesus left the Earth-y and Ascended into Heaven-y.  (1/17/18)
 Before Jeasus-y Time (Noun) – From the beginning of time until Jesus was born. (1/17/18)
 Jesus Adventures  (noun) the things Jesus did while on earth, like saving people, feeding people, and partaking in the food he made.  (4/23/18) 
 Jesus Math (noun)  – Mathematical theorem that explains the miracle of the multiplication of the fish an loaves.   Case suggests that Jesus fed the crowd by breaking five loaves and two fish into 5000 smaller pieces, thus providing an individual serving for each person.  The miracle is not the actual multiplication of food, but that all in the crowd were fulfilled on mere crumbs.   See also, "Heresy."  (4/12/18)
 Johnny Cochran  (noun) –  an addendum added to a typically nonsensical, rhyming argument to strengthen one's legal disputation.    Example:  "Wearing of a toupee is a form of adultery and should be penalized under the most severe penalty of law.  Johnny Cochran!" (5/21/2018)
 Jordanean  (noun) – pronounced "Jor-dane-E-an," the written language of the natives of Jordan.  (5/14/2018)


Library K

Tyler-Ism Library

 Kermuppets (noun)Muppet for comeuppance.  Example: “He sure got his kermuppets Lino.” (5/1/17)

 “I tell people all the time.  Kids will only get you sick.  They're only trouble  Don't have them."   (7/16/18)
 King David - a famous adulteress.  Example: "King David was very complex.  He was both strong enough to defeat Goliath and spineless enough to be a conniving adulteress."  (6/14/19)
 King Solomon  – rich, ugly guy who didn't accomplish anything great, but was the smartest guy alive.   (5/2/2018)
  Kosher (adjective) – food that is not real meat or is made of tofu.  (9/4/2018)


Library L

Tyler-Ism Library

  Leather  (noun) – a substance for making shoes, made from animal skins (possibly cats, but mostly cows), that was invented in the Late Renaissance (1400’s or 1500’s, “somewhere around there”), hence the reason the Dutch made shoes out of wood first.   Example:  “Jesus never saw leather because his dad didn’t invent cows yet.”  (2/21/18)

  Light Changer (noun) – A traffic light.  (1/23/18)

  Living off the lam (phrase) – Muppet for "living off the land."   Example: "My earliest Veghte ancestors were real pioneers, living off the lam in central New Jersey." (01/22/19)

 “Will you be seeing the Loch Ness Monster?” – Tyler asking Lino about the Ireland Pilgrimage. (2/26/2018)

  Loincloth (noun) – a single piece of cloth wrapped round the hips that was "invented by the Native Americans".  Example: "It's pretty weird that Jeremiah is talking about loincloths in the Bible when the garment wasn't invented until the Native Americans came along."  (04/03/19)


Library M

Tyler-Ism Library
  “Once you get stuck in the magic underwear, you can't get out."” (8/18/2018, Catholic Guy Con)
 Mahjong (noun) – game that old Jewish Chinese women play.  (Podcast 293, 7/24/17 and on 03/27/2019).
 Mammon - a type of waterfish, similar to salmon, that existed in Jesus-times but is now extinct.  Example:  "The apostles were flummoxed to find their nets overflowing with mammon after Jesus sent them out to sea a second time."   (6/20/19)
 “I have young eyes that work properly, and you guys don't... your eyes are older.  Eyes don't age like wine; they age like, ugh, you know, mayonnaise.  Older is worser.”   (03/22/2019)
 Middle Ages - a time period when human stoning was in vogue and the people "weren't smart" and didn't "understand how healthcare works and all kinds of other stuff."   (6/26/19)
 Minister's Convention  - a convention filled with misisters.  Example: "Fr. Jim couldn't adopt Lionel because his summer scheduled was packed with multiple minister's conventions."   (04/30/2019)

 Minute-ly (adverb) – the frequency at which Tyler messes up.  (1/25/2018)

  Monastic Life (noun) – a life devoted to Jesus in a convent and without cable, women or distractions. Monks sit inside and pray all day, make beer and do laundry, say the rosary and wear rags from 1200's. Hairstyle is limited to shaved tops of heads, but not on the sides. (9/4/2018)
  Monkey pilots (plural noun) –a primate astronaut capable of steering a rocket ship that was used by NASA to test the safety of space travel.  Tyler explains that NASA sent monkeys "into the space and they would, you know, they would fly around.  And they were like, "Okay, the monkeys can fly the spacecraft, let's have people do it.... Right, monkey pilots." (01/28/19)
 Monumentus (adjective) - Tyler's word which he thought was a synonym for "huge" or "very important".  A combo of monumental and momentous. (3/13/2018)
  Moronic device (noun) – misnamed "mnemonic device" in some circles, it's a learning technique that aids information retention or retrieval in the human memory.  Example: "ROYGBIV is the best moronic device to help remember the order of the colors of the rainbow."  (02/25/19)
 Movie Cassette  (noun) – a cartridge containing magnetic tape with recordings of images and sounds.  Example: "It look 6-8 weeks to get here after I saw the infomercial,  but my Dean Martin Roasts movie cassette finally came in the mail today."   (7/30/2018)

 Muppet Logic (noun) – “The best kind of logic.”    (1/30/2018)

 Muppetus Maximus (noun)  – Latin for "the great Muppet."  The most important position in the Muppet anti-religion.  (3/14/18)


Library N

Tyler-Ism Library

 Nasty (prefix) – Can be followed by priest/host/listeners/mom/management/bible geek/rat/woman/God/microphone etc…

  Nasty Beans (noun) –  the only food served in the Holy Land.  Example: "I bet if you'd give those people in the Middle East something other than nasty beans to eat, like Subway, they'd quit all that war and fighting."  (6/29/18)

 Netflixing (verb) – The act of watching Netflix.  As in, “Eh, Hey mom, I need more beer because I drank it all Netflixing“.  – Requested Entry by Lino on (1/30/2018)

  Nicea  (noun) – a hidden city that is lost to history, like Troy in Homer's Odyssey, or the city of Atlantis. Located in modern day Turkey. (9/19/2018)
  Nicene (noun) – a creed and a place.  Example: "The city of Nicene is lost to history, sort of like Atlantis."  (9/19/2018)
 Nomad (noun) – a "hobo with more prestige."  (Podcast 276, 2/28/17)


Library O

Tyler-Ism Library
 I got a lot of ovens in the fire...  I got a lot on my plate.” Evidently, burning laws are very lax in New Jersey.  (06/21/2019)
 Overexpensive - overpriced, or very expensive, particularly in the context of money spent on a female date (also known as "them.").  Example: "I'd rather spend money on a video game than on an overexpensive movie to impress them."  (6/14/19)


Library P

Tyler-Ism Library
  Palestinians (noun) –  one of Paul's letters written in the Bible.  Example: "The Letters of St. Paul include Ephesians, Thessalonians, and the Palestinians".  (8/22/2018)

 Papyrus (noun) – “ Paper you get when you don’t have any wood around.” (2/27/18)

 “Par to the Course” – A situation that is totally normal or expected. (1/23/2018)

 Parowsing (verb) – scanning something in a casual way. Example: "I was parowsing the Netflix last night and came across a documentary about 45 year old men and the mother's who do their laundry."  (8/3/2018)

 “Like a blind pedestrian walking in the middle of the street, Lino hits straight on without realizing.”  (Podcast 289, 6/16/2017)

 “Perform a Homily” – When an ordained person speaks a message to the gathered people after the reading of the Gospel. (1/16/2018)

 Perk (noun) – an extra benefit of one’s job that is shared with friends and family.  Typically includes giving away things from the prize closet without permission.   Example: “I was so angry that my mom purchased Sinner from a fine book store, when a perk of my job is giving it away for free.”  (8/1/17, Podcast 294).

 Pestilence – (noun) [Pronounced: Pest-U-Lance] – a fatal epidemic disease.  Pronouncing it pes-ti-lence is “Fake News”. (1/17/18)

 Philosophizer - a person engaged or learned in philosophy.  Example:  "John Henry Newman is known for being a both a great philosphizer and a salad dressing tycoon."   (6/19/19)
  Pine Barrens  (noun) – heavilty forested area in central part of New Jersey where the Jersey Devil resides." (11/29/2018)
 Planetarium  (noun) – "a museum of planets."   (8/7/18)

 Pontificate (verb) [Pronounced: Pon-tiff-a-kate] – big word used indiscriminately when you want to sound important.  Examples:  “I’m going to pontificate my weekly dinner menu,” or “Bob Rice says he’s a doctor just because he can pontificate on his guitar.”

 Poop bag  (noun )  - [Definition Redacted - even the BearsAreFast editing team has some standards.  Use your own nasty imaginations]   (8/13/2018)
 Pope  (noun) – an old guy who lives in Rome, who shakes hands with Bono,  and is in charge of stuff that's religious or whatever .  (4/2/18)  
  Pope Gregory the Something  (person) – the man credited for creating the modern calendar.  Also known in some circles as Julius Caesar.  Example: "Thanks to Pope Gregory the Something, our calendar has birthdays, NFL season, and Friday Pizza Night." (01/17/2019)

 Pope Urban X (noun) – a future  pope who is coming, probably in year 3000 or so.  (1/19/18)

 Posthumously  – Muppet for "after the fact."   Example:  "After hearing the misinformation I shared on the show, my college decided to rescind my history minor degree posthumously."  (6/18/2018).

 “I want a pound of flesh from Fr. Jim.” – Tyler’s request for compensation for Fr. Jim asking him to change his vacation plans. (1/16/2018)

  predispossessed (adjective) – someone who is already possessed.  (02/13/19)
 Pseudo Family  (noun) – a "kinda family" or "alternative family" that consists of step siblings or step parents.  Example: “The Brady Bunch is a  a pseudo family, not a real family.  The mom is just a legally obligated babysitter to those other kids.” (Podcast 276, 2/28/17).
 Public  – anywhere outside of Tyler's room where he could be visible.  Example:  "If I parade around naked inside my house and someone sees me from outside, then I'm guilty of public nudity."   (5/2/2018)

 After all of the expenses, it’s pure profit.”   Like people paying for satellite radio, the CGS Easter ornament line will bring only pure profit.  (1/9/18)

 Putting the nose under water  - a muppetonian technique for ending a sneezing-fit through irrigating one's sinusesHow to: 1) Turn the head upside down under a faucet, pointing the nostrils upward, to allow the water to flow into the nose.  2) Snort the water to fill the nose, until water pours down over your face and back into the sink.  3) Close/pinch the nose to keep water inside; expect some water to enter the mouth 4) Sneeze out the water so it goes everywhere.   (6/12/19)


Library Q

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  • R

    Library R

    Tyler-Ism Library

     Reading is hard.”  First graders can do it, but yes, reading is hard for many, many struggling readers.

     Remention (verb) – To bring up again. “Uh if we keep if he keeps rementioning or mentioning again uh the Air Force 2 thing.”  (1/15/2018)

      Remote Control (noun)  – an electronic device the size of a room that was not available in the 1970's, especially on Star Wars films.    Claims that R2D2 was operated by remote control is fake news because remotes can't "go beep boop beep boop."  Old television removes from the 1970's "don't count because they don't move around and talk."  (4/25/18)

     Renaissance (noun) – Beginning around 1250 AD, the turning point in history from when written word can be believed as historical evidence.   All records of events written prior to the renaissance are considered unreliable evidence of past events.   “I really can’t trust that Jesus did all those miracle-ly things, because the people who all saw it first hand wrote about it before the renaissance.”  (Podcast 301, 9/21/17)

     Retreat (noun) – an excursion into the wooden wilderness to avoid civilization and focus on the Bible, play banjo and sing “Kumbaya.”  (2/9/18)

      Rocks  (noun) – item used for shaving facial hair before razors were invented. Example: "Those guys in the Bible always looked scruffy because they shaved by rubbing rocks on their faces, just hoping the hair would come off." (11/1/2018)

     Rolodex (noun) – A digital on-screen listing of streaming movies on-demand. (1/17/2018)

      Romance Languages  (noun) –  language created when taking an English or Spanish word and "romancing it up," which is typically taught in middle school Latin class.  For example, the word "save" becomes "salve" in a romance language.   (8/15/2018)

     Rotation Oven (noun) –   Muppet for “rotisserie oven.” (10/3/17)

      Rotator Phones (noun) – an iconic telephone, characterized by a circular finger wheel used for dialing.  Known as "rotary phones" in common vernacular.  Example: "National Telephone Day is a good time to use one of those rotator phones."  (4/25/18)
     Round Young Virgin - a phrase describing the pregnant, youthful, motherly and childlike Virgin Mary in the classic Christmas song "Silent Night,".  Example: "Of course the song says, 'Round, young virgin, mother and child."  Who says "yon?""  (6/14/19)

     Rrrewhhhhhhhhhh” –  a growling sound used as a mating call during the flirting process that is loosely based on the familiar seductive rolling “r” purr. .  Described as the noise made by Chewbacca using a weedwacker, or Chewbacca dying a painful death.  See also “Flirting Process.”  (2/13/2018)


    Library S

    Tyler-Ism Library
     “I would grab my sister's Samurai Sword and fight off an intruder trying to steal my tv, my dog, or my Audi.   (6/1/08)

     Schedrule (noun) –   Muppet for “schedule.”  The “r” is silent.  Spoken in a Mystery Science Homily segment.  (Podcast 301, 9/21/17)

       Sea  (noun) – a body of water where the land surrounding the water can not be seen.  Example: "The Sea of Galilee is a pond, not a sea.  I can see the land right over there."    (3/15/18)  
     Segment Turducken – A segment within a segment.  Describing Mark doing an overrated/underrated/properly rated while in the segment of What's on Mark Hart's Heart.  (8/13/18)
     William Shakespeare  - an English poet, playwright and actor, who invented about 25 words now used in English today (half of all words in the English language).  Example: "Thanks to Shakespeare, we now have sentences like "The dauntless bandit sprained his elbow when trying to steal his neighbor's skim milk."   (5/2/2019)

     Sheik (noun)  – a Hindu, bald-headed, mustache-clad and wealthy oil baron.  Most easily recognized as the guys with turbans in the movie Aladdin.   Example: “My dad said that I could be anything when I grow up, so I’m going to be a sheik.  I’ll be rolling in oil! ”  (2/15/18)

     Shiny Jesus (noun) – Muppet reference to the transfigured Jesus, when he appeared in dazzling brightness to Peter and John on Mount Thabor, kind of like a Lite Brite. (8/6/18 and previous)

     “Shivary does not pay.”  If Tyler practices chivalry the way that he pronounces it, it is no surprise that he isn’t seeing the benefits of the practice.  (2/15/18)

     Shut-In  - a person who goes to work and on vacations but otherwise leaves the home only to obtain the bare essentials, and never "hangs-out" outside of his home.  Example: "I can't wait for the weekend.. that's when I do all of my grocery shopping and live like a shut-in."  (5/9/19)

     Sin Turducken – a sin within a sin within a sin.    Term used to describe Lino’s sin of being jealous of other people’s greed.  (2/8/18)

     Smelling oils  - fragrances used to set the mood in preparation for the marital embrace.  Example: "No dame can resist my advances after she gets a wiff of the smelling oils I placed in the bedroom."  (5/29/19)
      Sole Music (noun) –  often mistakenly called "soul" music, a genre created when people were not permitted to dance, that is "so good that you tap your feet" and is "foot tappingly good."  Example: "When Marvin Gaye sang "I Heard it Through the Grapevine," what he was really hearing was the soles of peoples' feet tapping away to the song."  (6/11/18)

     Soup chicken (noun) – a secret family recipe described as a Chicken dish topped with a soupy sauce.  Example: “My mom featured her Soup Chicken recipe in her audition tape for Iron Chef: New Jersey.”  (1/30/18)

     “If you launch a bear in space, then what do you have to do Tyler?” – Lino; “Ah, shoot caves into space?” – Nasty Muppet ; “Actually I was expecting you to say ‘then they will be fast, as in bears are fast.'” – Lino (2/7/2018)

    Apparently a Spanish accent is not a golf club I have in my bag”  – Tyler’s response to doing  poor impression of Julio Iglesias while singing To All the Segments I’ve Ruined (Podcast 275)

     Sparkles (noun) - A necessary embellishment on an airport driver welcome sign.

     Sponsi (noun) – A confirmation candidate’s spon-sir. (1/30/2018)

     Squirrel (noun) – one of the “American things,” squirrels are an agile, tree-dwelling rodent with a bushy tail that is native to America.   While squirrels are typically only found in America, some especially clever critters have managed to hijack boats and migrate to Europe.  (3/8/18)

     Every once in a while, a blind nut finds a squirrel.” – Is Tyler the nut or the squirrel in this utterance?  Who knows. (Podcast 273, 1/26/17)
     StAnthony of Padua –  Tyler's first pick of a saint he'd most like to join for a drink.    When you're out of drinks, call on St. Anthony and he'll spin around three times and find you more beverages.    (04/30/2018).

     St. Francis of Assisi –  defined in Muppet as “The book-nerd who was always writing and doing that sort of stuff.”  When Jesus spoke to St. Francis, he said, “Yo, Frankie you nerd, get your nose outta that book and go rebuild my crib.”  (Podcast 292, 7/17/17).

     St. Luke – a follower of Christ of whom nothing is known except what is known.  (10/18/17)

     Stagnate (verb) – Muppet for “stagger,” especially when describing the monthly hoodie rotation.  As Tyler explains, “one leads to the other, which leads to the other and then they’re kind of linked, sort of.  It’s a hard word to describe.”  (2/2/2018)

     I was like uh Stevie Wonder looking for a light switch. I was all over the place.” – Explanation to why he was off key during a rejoin he produced (Podcast 282)

     Stone Age  (noun) – a period when people "lived around stone and pushed rocks around."  Also known as a "rock based culture" and marked as a time of more morons.  Example:  "Jesus unofficially lived in the Stone Age because his tomb was sealed by a large stone."   (4/4/18)
     Super-Archbishop - The Latin Patriarch of The Holy Land area.  The Important Version of an Archbishop.

     Supposeably (adverb) – Muppet for “supposedly.  “I’m not vetting guests, I’m veting callers.  The guests are supposeably already vetted by Mark.”  (Podcast 292, 7/17/17)

     Supposevly (adverb) –  Alternate Muppet pronunciation for “supposedly.”  Example:  “The reason the Dutch wore wooden shoes was supposevly because leather wasn’t invented until the Renaissance.” (2/21/18)


    Library T

    Tyler-Ism Library

     Taxonomy (noun) – the stuffing of dead animals.     Example: “The reason that you never see bears in taxonomy is because they’re very fast and hard to capture.”  (3/7/18)

      Tenants (noun) –  a principle or belief, especially one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy.  Often referred to as "tenets" by non-Muppet speakers.  (6/27/18).

     You feeling frisky tonight?  Here’s some thigh… or whatever.”   Tyler explaining how he uses Step 1 of the Flirting Process.  Wearing of shorts, Speedos or jhorts encouraged.   (2/13/18)

     “There's a very thin line between genius and stupid.”  Yes, the intelligence of Stephen Hawking and a simple carrot are only a thin line of dental floss apart.   (06/04/2019)
      Thumb my eye (phrase) –to do something contrary to what is expected or is the stereotype.  Example: "Fans were shocked when Mark passed on a second dessert at dinner.  His response was to gesture only with a thumb in his eye ."  (02/13/19)

     “To all the Segments I have Ruined Before.” – Tyler’s greatest hit.  This is a song parody that is fantastic.

      Tobaggans (noun) –  a native or inhabitant of Tobago, a country that no one has ever heard of.   Example: "The movie "Cool Runnings" was about a tobaggan bobsledding team."  (6/15/18)

     Tom Brady – AKA Satan.  Tyler’s mortal enemy.

       The Tomb Conspiracy (noun) – A Veghtean conspiracy theory that suggests that Jesus' body was lost by the disciples after a bad government operation placed it in the wrong tomb.  (4/2/18)    
    Toupee (noun) – an artificial hairpiece worn to hide a bald spot.  Wearing of such an accessory is known as "adultery of the scalp."  (5/22/2017)
     Transatlantic/Transkatlantic/Transtsatlantic  -  a type of flight that crosses the Atlantic ocean.  The actual pronunciation is "one of those, certainly."   (04/16/19)
     Trap Shooting  (noun) – a method of game hunting "where you wait for an animal to be in a trap and then you shoot it." Example: "The zoo would be the ideal setting for a hunter who's into trap shooting." (10/22/2018)

     The turd in the punchbowl is Mark is a genius, which kind of stinks, but I’m very happy how I scored and that I’m better than Fr. Jim at thinking stuff.”   Kind of ironic that there is feces in Tyler’s punchbowl, but it’s Mark’s IQ score that stinks.    (Podcast 305, 10/24/17)

     Turducken of impressions –  used to describe when Tyler does an impression of Lino doing an impression of Tyler.  (Podcast 286, 5/26/17).


    Library U

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  • V

    Library V

    Tyler-Ism Library
     Vacation Bible School (noun) – a ministry where volunteer substitute teachers stand in for normal Bible School teachers who are on vacation.   The ideal candidate for the volunteer substitute "don't use no bad language or drugs in front of the kids" and is willing to "snack with 'em and nap with 'em."  (Podcast 272, 01/18/17).


    Library W

    Tyler-Ism Library

     Water Fountain (noun) – a machine that produces a small stream of water for drinking. Not found in the United States.  (12/4/17)

     “… or whatever” – phrase quickly thrown onto the end of any sentence to inarticulately and ineffectively add depth and context.   Example: “At my hockey camp, kids will learn to whittle their own hockey sticks, how to use tube socks for padding and how to talk Canadian…………… or whatever.”

     Wheat bread  - Tyler's favorite brand of bread.  Example: "Wonder Bread may be a staple in many households, but my favorite brand is wheat."  (5/13/19)

     Whizzing (Verb) – When an Olympic Alpine Skiier proceeds down a hill very quickly past objects such as “Flag Poles” or “Trees”.  (2/12/2018)

     Wine  - an alcoholic drink made from fermented grapes that was invented by the French.   The ancient Francs tribes introduced wine to the roman empire.  It's also important to note that wine is not consumed in China.   (5/9/19)

     Winimum (noun) – Muppet for minimum.  The least or smallest amount or quantity possible, attainable, or required. (5/19/17)

     Wood (noun) – Something not found “back in Jesus’ day.” (10/31/17)

     Wood fire (noun) – where zoo animals are sent for extermination when they do not fulfill their job of putting on a show for the people outside.  (4/4/18)  
     “Worth a pillar of salt” – phrase that indicates the measure of a Catholic.  Tyler used this in the context, “If I as an atheist know it, then most Catholics worth a pillar of salt know it, except Fr Jim.”  When Fr Jim indicated that it is not an actual phrase, the nasty muppet responded: “Yes it is.  I heard it on Netflix.”

     Worthers Originals (noun) – chocolate for old people.  First made in 1820’s.  Production also stopped in 1820’s (or in 1900’s, when Hershey’s came around).  Commercially known as “Werther’s Original” candies.  (3/5/18)


    Library X

    Tyler-Ism Library
     XO, Jesus  - Jesus' closing line in written letters, offering hugs and kisses.  Sometimes confused with "exegesis".  Example: "My peeps, Love one another as I have loved you.  XO, Jesus."  (5/29/19)


    Library Y

    Tyler-Ism Library
      Yeti  (noun) – quoted as "one of those things that scares people in the Alps, or whatever".   A yeti sub-species is also known to live in the snowy Himalayas, after migrating from the Alps.  Example:  "You haven't seen a yeti in the Alps.  You don't know it doesn't exists there."  (7/22/19).  


    Library Z

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