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Indicates a word or phrase and it’s definition in the “Muppetionary.”

Indicates a quoted phrase uttered by the Nasty Muppet.

Indicates an entry requested On-Air by Lino, Mark, or another co-host.

Latest Entry:

Latest

Tyler-Ism:
“... shop and go away rich..."  The status of a person who is so wealthy that they can tell people, "hey, you go away... I can do whatever I want."  (02/19/2025)

A

Tyler-Ism Library
  A cappella (adverb or adjective) –  a counterfeit form of singing that lacks musical accompaniment.   Per Muppet musicology, a real song must include musical backtracks, and singing a cappella is not performing a song.  Also, a musical performance done by making sounds with one's mouth.  (11/30/20)
a.e. - Tyler's Latin abbreviation for "for example".  Example:  "Tyler has several favorite shot glasses, i.e. the bear glass that he purchased in Kazakhstan." (5/10/23)
Abdominable / Abnominal / Abombmimble Snowman – various acceptable pronouncations for "Abominable Snowman;"  also, only a "word that dogs can say."  (12/02/22)
 “I’m the most accidentally smartest guy in the room.”  Tyler's most-intelligent response  after learning that he beat Fr. Jim in the IQ test.   (Podcast 305, 10/24/17)
  “... it counts accumutately.”   Muppet for "accumulatively."  Example:  "The morning show brings in 37 listeners accumulatively over the week."  (05/22/2024)

 Actually (adverb) – Tyler uses this to indicate when something is of quality despite the best efforts of the person he is describing.  Example: “Cardinal Dolan is actually a pretty smart and funny dude.”

 Age of Cognitive Reasoning  – Muppet for "Age of Reason."  (1/15/2018)

 “Agree to disagree.”  Used when needing the final word in an argument.

Air Buds  - wireless earbuds.  A combination of "air pods" and "ear buds."  Example: "I always wear my air buds out in public so that people don't try to talk to me."  (5/20/22)
 “All the marbles come down to this.”  A phrase used at the pinnacle moment in time where the outcome of something will be decided.  Example:  "The winner of Family Feud will be decided in the next guess.  All the marbles come down to this."  (10/14/2020)
Alrkay - the sound that comes out when you combine "okay" and "alright." (09/12/24)

 Amazon Jungle (noun) – A place you can visit in South America after paying Jeff Bezos a small fee.  (1/24/2017)

  Ambo - "something that holds water" and is used by the priest to "clean himself."   Example:  "The altar boy was careful to hold the ambo still while the priest washed his hands before the Eucharistic prayer."  (03/12/2021)
 Anchoress  - a female anchorman, also known as an anchorwoman.  Example: "Jane Pauley doesn't know much Italian, but she's a decent anchoress."  (5/28/19)
 “"And I, you".   The appropriate response used when someone thanks you for something.  Example: Lino:  "Thank you, Tyler."  Tyler: "And I, you."   (11/19/2019, Podcast 392)
 “And there goes by the grace of God, goes he.”  An Old English, old-fashionedy way of saying wishing someone goodbye or good fortune.  It literally means that a person has left, and is God's hands now.  (10/14/2020)
“If you felt like you had FOMO with that one, I'm glad you got another crack at the apple."  A great Muppet-mash up of the phrases, "bite of the apple," and "crack at the pineapple."  (09/11/2024)

 “I just set my self to be kicked in the… I don’t have anything.” Hey-oh!  (10/11/17)

Apartment  - a duplex with fewer floors.   (5/27/22)
  Apistle - the book found in churches "that has songs in it."  Example:  "Parishioners are encouraged to sing along with the hymns at Mass by following along with the songs in the apistle ."  (03/12/2021).
 Applyable -  Muppet for "applicable."  Example:  "It's sometimes difficult to see how the stories of the Bible are applyable to times today."  (02/20/24)
 Aramaia (noun) – an area in the greater-general regions of modern day Jerusalem, the Turkey, the Egypt and the Middle East (aka western Asia).  Language of the people living in Aramaia is Ancient Aramaic.   (Podcast 317)
 Ascension (noun) – As described in the "Easteride" parody, the event 40 days after Jesus' resurrection, when He got tired wasting time and putzing around earth and decided to move to Heaven.  (Podcast 287, 6/2/7)
  Assassination (noun) –  an attempt to murder someone, that is driven by a strong, loving-like feeling towards that person.  Tyler explains, "How much of a difference did you make in [the assassin's] life that they were like, "This person has to die for me to live forward!"?  It's kind of flattering in a way.  (5/7/20)
  Assisi (noun) –a town in Italy that "looks very nice" and is the alleged birthplace of St. Francis of Assisi.  (01/30/19)
 “... at a quandary."   - Tyler sometimes gets so flummoxed, that he finds himself AT the quandary, but he's never IN a quandary.  (1/22/20 (Podcast 400) and 1/29/20 (Podcast 399))
  “You don't want atheists in a foxhole.”  A common phrase that "doesn't make sense per Tyler, because "You do want an atheist in a foxhole...while you're praying, the atheist is going to keep shooting." (01/19/2024)
 " You've never seem me run or anything.  I'm much more athletic than you are.  I'm just lazy and out of shape, but I'm very athletic.”  (3/15/2018) "Even now, I"m pretty athletic.  I'm not in shape, but that doesn't mean I'm not athletic.  I can do a lot of things, it's just I can't do it for very long, 'cause I'm going to run out of energy."  (6/6/19)  Yeah, Tyler.... Al Bundy was "athletic," too.

 Auction (noun) – Muppet for a giveaway that you bid on. (9/20/17)

  Automated Tunic - the ornamented, colorful coat given to Joseph by his father, Jacob.  (1/22/20)
  Available in Court (phrase) –  In Muppet, meaning "admissible in court."  Example: "Any piece of evidence is available in court, as long as it's followed by the phrase, "Johnnie Cochran.""  (8/23/2018)

B

Tyler-Ism Library
  Baby Canada (noun) – Minnesota.  People from Minnesota are polite and have the same accent as Canadians, so they are pretty much Baby Canada. (1/24/2018)
  Bachelors' party (noun) – a party with "a bunch of dudes," where there are typically multiple bachelors/unmarried men in attendance.   Contrary to popular belief, the party is not just for the groom-to-be, but is named for all bachelors who attend.   Example: "Wherever two or more unmarried men meet to drink and engage in reverie, there you will find a bachelors' party." (01/22/19)

 “Yeah, back to my cage.” When Tyler goes too far and Lino cuts him off and sends him back to his cage.

Backgammit / Backgammond  - Tyler's pronunciation for the game "backgammon." (10/09/23)
  "...sold me a bad bill of goods."  There's some sort of double-negative action going on here, but only Tyler can explain it.  (10/11/23)
 Band – a group of more than three musicians and/or vocalists who play music.  Example: "The reason the Goo Goo Dolls have never won a grammy for "best band," is because with only two members, they don't qualify as a true band.  (12/10/19, Podcast 395)
 “I always thought for the baptism to take, you always had to be off the ground... if you touch the ground, the devil is part of the ground and sucks out the baptism, or some stuff like that."   (01/10/2020, Podcast 398)
  “So, bark monkey!”   You've heard of a dancing monkey, but I bet you've never heard of a barking one.  Example:  "Get back on the stage and make the crowd smile... Come on!  Bark monkey!  Bark!  (05/08/2024)
  “I don't see celebrities barking down your door.”  The Muppet strikes again!  Dogs don't have skills to break down a door, so they just bark it down instead.  (12/13/2023)
  "Now, you're barking up Lino's alley." - A Tyler mash-up of "right up his/her alley" and "barking up the wrong tree."  (06/15/23)
Barnes and Nobles - who new that the popular bookstore was named after a guy surnamed "Barnes" and buch of other random nobles.  (5/10/23)
  Basket ceiling (noun) - a lid or door on a basket that may be opened and closed, such as on a picnic basket, or the basket in which baby Moses was placed before being shipped down the river.  Example:  "As a loving act to save her newborn son, Jochebed placed Moses in a basket, closed the basket lid, and pushed the basket down the river."  (01/08/2021).
 “Bears are fast.” A classic Tyler phrase rooted in his advanced study of zoology. (10/12/17, replayed on Podcast 368)
  "So they took a beaver and just started writing on it?"  Tyler's response to Lino's suggestion that historically, people have used animals skins to write on.    (09/25/23)
  Beekeeper -  a professional who plays with bees.   (09/27/2021)
  "Blessed are those who believe without seeing, or whatever."   (11/28/23)
  Benediction - the end of the Mass, where the priest tells the congregation to go away.  Example:  "The priest reminded the congregation to purchase their meat raffle tickets during his benediction."  (06/02/2021)
  Bible (noun) – A movie that was made into a book or ” The only thing in Mark Hart’s life he hasn’t eaten.” (1/23/18);  a book dictated or something  by Jesus about his Jesus adventures.  (4/23/18)
  Biblehood - a state of living in accordance with stories or morals of the Bible.  Example:  "When Lino forgives Tyler for forgetting to turn on the microphones, Lino is really demonstrating a positive Biblehood."  (01/27/2021).
 Bicept (noun) – In Muppet anatomy, the large muscle in the upper arm between the shoulder and the elbow.   Works with the tricept when flexing.  Example: “A little known fact about Mark is that he has a tattoo on each of his bicepts.  One reads ‘Be not afraid…’ and the other ‘to show off these guns.”  (2/15/18)  Also spoken again on 1/30/19, when Tyler explained, "I don't really like saying it without the 'T," though.  I think it sounds better with the "T" and I'm going to bring the "T" back."  (1/30/19)
  Big Bopper - a well known constellation that can be found adjacent to the Little Dipper in the sky.  Example:  "Lino bought a telescope so that he can locate the Big Bopper in the nighttime sky."  (02/09/2021).
  Big Popsicle Stick  - the small, flat piece of wood, used by health practitioners to touch the tonsils to see if it still works.  "Remember to open wide and say "ahhh" when the doctor checks your tonsils with the big popsicle stick."    (11/05/20)
 Bill Belichick – “The worst individual to be around this planet Earth since Satan himself.”  (1/25/28).    "He could cure hunger, cancer, or win seventeen Super Bowls and I would still hate him."  (6/7/18).  "He's the atheist devil."  (9/3/19, Podcast 384)
 Bi-opic - Muppet for "biopic," a biographical film.  As Tyler explains, "I always say "bi-opic."  I just like saying "bi-opic," because normally that word is put together and it reads to me "bi-opic" and "bi-opic" sounds cool."  (6/7/19 and 5/19/23)
 “Bishops may be priests, but they’re also bishops and they have pointy hats that are very expensive; and that expensive hat is a symbol of the house that he is in.  You must have a nice house to have a nice hat.”   An argument for why bishops should live in mansions in the Judge Rulli segment.  (Podcast 300, 9/15/17).
 “Not as big a bite to chew."   - the muppetization of the phrase "biting off more than you can chew."  (2/20/20)
 Bithinking (verb) – the process of concentrating on a thought while also reciting words, as done while praying the rosary.  Example:  "One must be really good at bithinking to meditate on the rosary's mysteries while praying the Hail Mary."  (7/25/19, Podcast 378)
  Blarney Stone (noun) –  "something someone pees on in Ireland."  Example: "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!  He drank so much Guinness that he took a slash on the Blarney Stone."  (6/29/18)
  Boats (noun) – water vessels that were not able to sail in big, open waters prior to Jesus' time.   Example:  “Peter and his crew were unsuccessful fishermen only because their boats could only fish a little offshore.”  (11/14/19, Podcast 390)
 Book (noun) – A disease ridden medium of information that is radioactive to the Nasty Muppet.  (1/24/18)
 Book Suppository -  the building that was Lee Harvey Oswald's vantage point during the assassination of US President John F. Kennedy.  (01/29/24)
Bootleg Hair Dye – the hair coloring products sold outside of retail salons, such as the product "Just for Men" that is sold at Target.  Example: "Lino bought some bootleg hair dye to hide his graying hairline."  (01/17/23)
  Boulderdash - commonly heard as "balderdash," meaning senseless nonense.  Example:  "Many think the ideas that come out of Tyler's mind are complete boulderdash, but they forget that there's a thin line between genius and stupid."   (08/09/2021)
 Boy Scouts – a sham organization where youth are encouraged to complete tasks and make derby cars in attempts to earn meaningless badges.  Example: "The boy scouts give you badges to encourage you to do more.  But what do the badges get me?  Nothing.  It's working for nothing!"  (6/6/2018)  
Bram Stroker  - an Irish Writer best known for this novel, "Dracula." (9/15/23)
Brava – a fancier "bravo," that is reserved for use at classy places.  Example: "The audience at the Oscars offered a thunderous brava when the nominees for Best Picture were announced."  (7/25/22)

 BRB – acronym for “Bring your own beer” in Muppet.  Example: “Grabbing a shower.  BRB.”  (1/24/18)

 Bridesgroom –  the man who is being married at a wedding.  One of the invisible letter words, it's pronounced "bridesgroom" because "it's the bride's groom, is it not?".  Example:  "The bridesgroom in Jesus' parable didn't seem too excited to marry his ten dumb virgins."  (8/7/19, Podcast 381)
  “The bridge that bridges the gap.”   This phrase throws a little Muppet flavor on the phrase "bridge the gap."  Example:  "Lino breaks down Catholicism for nasty listeners who have fallen away from the Church.  He's great at being the bridge that bridges the gap."  (05/21/2024)
 “Even a Broken Squirrel finds a nut twice a day.”
 “A broken squirrel is right twice a day.” (Podcast 350)
 “"Life with no regrets"... "Everything happens for a reason"... "Buy one, get one free".   A logical and similar list of "phrases to live by" that are inherently annoying, with the latter's intention being deliberately misleading.  "Buy one, get one free" really means to "buy two for the price of one" and is embraced by the "Buy one, get one lifestyle" that is always looking for a handout.   (07/24/2019)

C

Tyler-Ism Library
 “Where would I be without the calendar?  Probably in a ditch somewhere... Emotionally, I'd be lost... Who knows, I could do anything at any moment:  drive off a ditch, [or] kill somebody!”   Some folks like calendars for the pretty pictures.  Tyler's mere survival replies on calendars to keep him out of ditches.  (01/29/2021)
  Camping (noun) – the activity of spending a vacation in a camp, tent, or camper.  It's basically the same thing as being in the army, just without guns involved.   Example: "I don't need to see Black Hawk Down.  I went camping, so I already know what the film is all about." (01/22/19)
Cantical  - the little book read by the cantor that gives instructions for which words are sung longer or shorter.  Ex: "The cantor forgot to mark the correct page in the cantical before Mass began." (5/13/22)
 Cashews - a "cheap, crappy food that they can get rid of at bars 'cause people are too drunk to know otherwise."  Example: "After three or four White Russians, cashews become a little less nasty."  (6/17/19)
  Catechumen - a person who is buried deep in the catacombs of Rome.  Example:  "When you go to Rome, be sure to make time to visit the catacombs, where you can come face to face with a 1000 year old catechumen."  (01/27/2021).
 Catholic Church Thriveability Theory (concept) – a Vegtheian theory that the Catholic Church can thrive only in warm countries, such as Israel, Mexico, Spain, Portugal, Italy, Brazil, parts of France, a bunch of African countries, and St. Paul, Minnesota in the summertime.  Example:  "The Catholic Church Thriveability Theory explains why the church is not flourishing in Canada... it's just too cold there."  (7/24/19)
Caved-based Society  - an ordered community of people who live and work inside of caves, such as during Jesus's time.  Example:  "Due to the lack of wood in the region, Jerusalem adapted to become a caved-based society in 30 A.D."  (5/27/22)

 “Caves are measured in bear units in my world.  It’s one small cave for one bear.  You get a double cave for two bears and so on.”   Was crucified Jesus laid in a cave or a tomb?  That depends… how many bears were in there with him? (1/9/18)

 Celebripriest  (noun) –  a priest who intentionally seeks popularity, acclaim and celebrity-like status.  Example:  "Did you see Fr. Soandso's newest story on his insta?  He's turning into a real celebripriest!  (4/3/20)
Chaft - Muppet speak for "happy," specifically when being pleased with oneself.  Example:  "I was quite chaft with myself." (11/28/23)
Feast of the Chair of St. Peter (noun) – a Church feast day celebrating the actual act of St. Peter sitting on his chair.  Example: "The Feast of the Chair of St. Peter is one of my favorite holidays, because it celebrates sitting, which is something I like to do in my spare time." (01/25/19, Podcast 357)
  Chanuka (holiday) -  a Jewish festival, also known as the Festival of Lights, that can be spelled "80,000 ways"  Per Tyler, due to the extra h's and k's thrown in the word, Hanukkah can not be spelled incorrectly and you can "spell it anyway you want... it's a fielder's choice.  Anyway you can get there is fine."  (12/16/2020).
 Chast - (adverb)  - Muppet for "chaste," the art of maintaining the virtue of chastity.  (3/14/18, 1/7/20, 7/31/20 and 1/27/22)
  Chasuble - a vessel that burns incense and  "holds the smoke in it"   Example:  "Mark Hart once hit a priest in the head while swinging the chasuble during Mass."  (03/12/2021)
  Chicken Pot Pie (noun)  – a meal that one can buy at the store and bake in the oven; one of the few foods that Tyler can make (4/25/18).  Also, a meal served only on Monday's.   (7/19/18)  Example: "I can't cook, but I can pick up a chicken pot pie and put it in the oven."
 “Chivary does not pay.”  If Tyler practices chivalry the way that he pronounces it, it is no surprise that he isn’t seeing the benefits of the practice.  (2/15/18)
 Chroneology / Chronnolology  – prounounced "chron·ee·ology" or "chron·no·lol·ogy," an arrangement of events in order of occurrence .  Example:  "In the chroneology/chronnology of Jesus, his resurrection happened sometime after his Shiny Jesus appearance."  (10/14/19)
  Circqy (noun) - a person who works in a circus.  Example:  "My favorite part of the circus is when the toothless cirkey rides into the tent on his tamed bear."  (01/11/2021).
 Circus (noun) –  The last resort of humanity and the lowest rung in society or anything, which is only a small step above a career in public access television.  Example:  "Not many people know that hosts with failing shows on The Catholic Channel are sent directly to the circus to perform when they're fired."  (7/25/18)
Circus pigs (noun) – a porcine animal that travels with a circus and enjoys having food thrown at them.    Example: "The audience was amazed as the circus pigs jumped through the hoops of fire."  (7/6/22)
 City of Minnesota (noun) – a U.S. metro commonly known as the “Land of 10,000 Lakes.”  It was admitted as the 32nd U.S. state in 1858, and demoted to city status in 2018 by the Council of Tyler.  (2/1/18)  Also known as the "State with one thousand lakes," (8/13/18) and a vast land of vacant spaces and cows (12/7/18).
  “I've cleared the runway and let Lino plan hero-ball.”  We've never seen a airport runway with a basketball court, but maybe Tyler is onto something.  (03/27/2024)
 The Cloud Place (noun) – another dimension where people’s souls, or eh, whatever, go when they die. (1/15/18)
  "I'm willing to jump to that and clutch at anything I can.." - Yup, not a phrase.  Maybe Tyler's mind can clutch a better sentence next time.  (09/12/23)
Co-alessing -  Muppet for "convalescing." Quote:  "[The Pope] has to spend two months co-alessing."  (03/24/25)
 Coldslaw (noun) – a traditional cold salad of sliced raw cabbage mixed with mayonnaise, that is sometimes a topping for hot dogs.  The pronunciation of the "d" is an effect of the invisible letter rule.  Example:  "Betty Crocker named the recipe "coldslaw" because it's a slaw dish that's always served cold."  (7/25/19, Podcast 378)
 Coloclial (adjective) – The correct way to describe something. (7/16/2018)
 Common Cold  (noun) – a viral, infectious disease of the upper respiratory tract that is caught only in cold places.  Common colds do not exists in the Holy Land because,  "That's why they call it colds is because it has to be cold for you to get one  You can't get viruses when it's all dried out and hot.  Science!".  (4/3/18)  In America, colds are prevalent only in the wintertime, when it's cold.  The heat of the summertime (any temperature over 70 degrees) and the absorption of Vitamin D from the sun, strengthens the immune system and makes humans like a Super Man and almost immortal to colds.   However, being wet while in a over-70's temperature may still result in a cold.  (7/22/19, Podcast 378)  
 “I'm able to communicate in spite of my words.  I think that makes me an amazing communicator.  I add words that make things more confusing... and yet you guys kinda understood what I was talking about anyway.  That makes me amazing.”  Yep.  Tyler lacks the tools to communicate, but Lino's ability to understand him anyway somehow makes Tyler the amazing one.  (06/18/2019, Podcast 374)
Complete Downfall – a blizzard.  Example: "The complete downfall of 2006 dropped twenty inches of snow across New York City."  (10/18/22)
  Confrontation - a meeting between two people.  "It was quite the confrontation when Lino finally met Dave Letterman at the taping of his Netflix show."    (10/22/20)
Connectations - Muppet for "connotations."  Quote:  "So you don't have a problem with the word, it's when I say it, then it takes on new connectations, that you don't really like."    (08/29/24)
 Connoisseur –  pronounced "coin-a-seur" or "coin-ess-sewer," a discerning judge of the best in any field.  Tyler offers three unique spellings:  coiniseaux, conaseur, or coneseuer.  (8/20/19 (Podcast 383) and 1/30/20)
CoNON the Barbarian -  a fictional a fictional sword and sorcery hero who's first name is pronounced "Koh-NON".  According to Tyler, the "accent [is] for the Arnold Schwarzenegger character. (01/03/25)
 Top Consciousness / Middle Consciousness / Sub Consciousness / Un Consciousness  (nouns) – The four primary levels of Muppet Consciousness that measure responsiveness to stimuli from the environment.  Actual defining benchmarks of each level is not fully established and terms may be used interchangeably.  Example: “When my middle consciousness tries to hint at the existence of God, I drown it with beer and violent video games until it succumbs to a state of unconsciousness.”  (2/9/18)   Requested entry by Lino Rulli
  Convent (noun) –  a fenced or walled-in area often occupied by the members of a same family or religious sect.  Example: "Once Mark's bible-preaching club recruits a few more members, he plans on building a convent somewhere in northern Arizona."   (7/27/20)

 Corn (noun) – a cereal plant found only in America and is therefore an “American thing.”  The Bible does not mention corn, “ergo, they didn’t have it.”  Historical evidence that corn was first domesticated in Mexico 10,000 years ago is Fake News.  (3/8/18)

 “Corners are Sharp” – That dude from Dirty Dancing had good reason to say that "no one puts Baby in the corner." (1/24/2018).
 “I got a lot of feedback from people that really had strong opinions about what they want done with their body [upon death]... It's kind of a weird thing to care about because it's almost like an expired coupon.  It does no good for you once you're dead... I am currently a coupon.  I can be used.  I have some value... it really helps me out.  But at a certain point, you go past your expiration date... the coupon does you no good because you can't use it anymore."   (01/24/2020)
C-PAC machine -  Muppet for "CPAP," a medical device used to treat sleep apnea.  Per Tyler, "I always thought it was like a C-PAC machine, like Pacman."  (01/13/25)
 Creetors - Catholics who attend Mass only on Christmas and Easter.  Example:  "Mrs. Kylecumber was angry that her regular seat was taken by a creetor at the Christmas Eve Mass." (12/22/23)
 “Crossing the I's and dotting the T's...” Only the mostest detail-oriented person would say something like this. (9/4/18)
Crunkly noise -  a rustling or crackling sound.  Also described as "crinkly" by non-Muppets.  (07/17/24)

 The Baltimore Cults (noun) – American football franchise originally based in Baltimore, Maryland, from 1953 to 1984.    Now known as the Indianapolis Colts. (Podcast 300, 9/15/18)

Curia - a division of doctors, counselors, and exorcists who provide spiritual healing and training for dealing with spiritual attacks.  (2/23/22)
  Curving on a grade (phrase) –Muppet for "grading on a curve."   Example: "St. Peter is known for curving on a grade when he's conducting interviews for admission to Heaven, which is why us nasty atheists still get a chance at eternal paradise." (01/25/19, Podcast 357)
Cut to the gist –  Tyler's version of "cut to the chase."  Example:  "There was only a few minutes remaining on the show, so Tyler had to cut to the gist of his question to Lino."  (4/10/23)

D

Tyler-Ism Library
  “...a dabble of incompetence.”  A small amount of something. As Tyler's explains, it's a "a tad, a dollop, a dibble, a dash."  Quote:  "When you get an ice cream cone and... you want sprinkles or jimmies... [you say], "Put a dibble of sprinkles on it."   (03/26/2024)
  Damn (noun) –  a homonym for the "one that beavers make and then one that we all go to."  We're not sure if Tyler is sending us to a dam built by beavers or to actual damnation, but both seem pretty lame.  (6/27/18)
  Damn Maggie Smith –  an actress known for her roles in Downton Abbey, the Harry Potter series, and for her guest appearance on the Catholic Guy Show.  (7/22/20)
  Dashedly (adjective) –wicked and cruel.  Muppet for "dastardly."  Example: "The selling of BearsAreFast merchandise is nothing more than a dashedly attempt to earn as much money as possible for pure profit."  (02/05/19, Podcast 359)
  Dates  (noun) – the most overrated dessert ever, which tastes like honey but not really.   Example:  "I don't want to go on a date, and I certainly don't want to eat dates.  Both just leave me unsatisfied and a little itchy the next morning." (4/5/18)

 “How come his dead body didn’t float, don’t dead bodies float?” – The Nasty Muppet talking about Jack at the end of the movie Titanic. (1/22/2018)

 Deck Top Roof –  a hip place to meet at the Yale Club, if wearing jeans, a collared shirt, and shoes.  Also known as a "roof top deck."  Example:  "Jen Fulwiler asks friends to meet her at the Yale Club's deck top roof, because she's just too tall to dine inside the building."  (8/14/19)
Defiberator / Defibrulator / Defiberator / Defribulator   - one of the possible pronunciations for "defibrillator," a device used to treat severe cardiac dysrhythmias.  (5/31/2022)
Deflamatory -  Muppet for "defamatory."  Example:  "Spreading deflamatory rumors is like playing with fire; once it starts, it’s hard to control the damage."  (07/17/24)
Demuted - the process of causing someone to speak again, after being mute. Example:  "St. Sebastian demuted St. Zoe when he made the sign of the cross on her forehead."  (10/10/23)
Depoisonified – to have eradicated a toxin from a region.    Example: "The Governor of Florida was lauded after he depoisonified the state of malicious, toxic slugs."  (7/6/22)

 “I think it makes it more effective.  You know, you take a depressant with a depressant, then you have a Super Depressant.”  Tyler explains the fundamentals of pharmocology when mixing alcohol and over-the-counter sleeping pills. (1/10/18)

  "I cound not...derecommend [The Wiz] enough... how would you say that?  I disrecommend this."  (09/15/23)
  Desert (noun) – simply, a sandy beach without any water.  Example: "The Sahara Desert isn't a very popular beach due to the number of insects found there."  (8/28/2018)
Desmirch – Muppet for "besmirch," meaning to damage the reputation of something.  Example: "Nasty listeners are only trying to desmirch Tyler's reputation when they say he's bad turning on the microphones."  (01/03/23 and 11/29/23)
  Destiny (noun) –the changing, inexact events that will absolutely happen to a particular person or thing in the future.  A sexy word, with a definition that has changed over the years.  Example: "It's Tyler's destiny to host Family Feud, unless things change and he ends up a radio show producer instead."  (02/20/19)
  Dictionary - a book that holds words.  (06/02/2021)
  "...on a different book..." - Muppet for the phrase, "On the same page," meaning to understand and agree with someone.  Example:  Lino and Tyler were on a different book when it came to ideas for the show's new open.  (12/05/22)
  Digestional tract (noun) -  the organ system that is responsible for digestion.  Example: "All of the best scientists agree that a diet of chicken pot pie and booze is perfect for a Muppet digestional tract." (12/04/2020).
  Diluted (adjective) -  believing something that is not true.  Example: "I know my birth certificate says I'm 32, but I've diluted myself into thinking I'm still 24 years old." (12/09/2020).
 Dinosaur (noun) – the creature most likely slayed by St. George.  See Also: Dragon.  Example: "Some smart farmers say that the dinosaurs were eradicated with a large meteor, but I think St. George slayed them all Mortal Kombat style."  (4/23/2018)
 Disseminate –a process of providing the sacraments to the people.  Example:  "One of a priest's many duties is to disseminate communion at Mass."  (12/16/19 and 09/21/20)
 “I'm sorry.  I just got distracted for one minute.  I was having Jackie bring me a pen.”  Tyler was paying attention, he swears.  It's not easy to wait for someone to bring you a pen and produce a show simultaneously.   (6/27/18)
Diviniations  - Muppet for "deviations."  According to Tyler, "it's close... you got to round up sometimes with these words."  Example:  "Lino has espresso for breakfast each morning and seldom has divinations from his routine."  (3/15/22)
 “Do two birds with one stone.”  To achieve two different goals in a single action.  Example:  "The inflatable nativity that Tyler bought for Lino is both a birthday gift and a Christmas gift.  That's how you do two birds with one stone".  (10/19/2020)
  Document (noun) – official paper relied on as the basis, proof, or support of something.  "Xeroxing," or photocopying something, automatically makes something an official document.  Example: "The DMV wanted proof of my new address, so I scribbled it on a napkin, Xerox-ed it, and made an official document."  (03/20/19 and Podcast 364)
  Doob - an inept person (i.e. a doofus).   Example:  "Some people think we're too hard on Kyle, but once you meet him, you'll agree that he's a real doob."  (03/01/2021).
 Doomeronomy (noun)  - literally meaning "second law," the name of the fifth book of the Old Testament.  Example:  "Moses kind of foreshadowed the tone of his farewell address when he named the book "Doomeronomy."  (1/7/20, Podcast 390)
  Downtrotten -  Muppet for "downtrodden," or to suffer oppression.   Tyler explains, "a horse has it's head hung down and is trotting slowly... he's "downtrotten."  (01/17/2022)
  Doxology - the study of how people connect, or "dock" with God.  Example:  "Dr. Scrott Scuffybeard presented a lengthy dissertation on spiritual doxology, as the keynote speaker at the Catholic Ghetto Convention."   (07/22/2021)
 Dragon (noun) – A creature that may or may not have existed but is known to have existed in Asia, where it is honored as one of their zodiac signs.  The last dragon was killed by St. George, which allowed previously dragon-terrorized societies to begin to flourish.  See also: Dinosaur.  (4/23/2018 and 01/14/2020)

E

Tyler-Ism Library
“Yeah!  Eat that, Claire!"  Tyler's exclamation when Lino said that Tyler was a marginally better talker than Lino's toddler.  (03/24/2025)
  Effergy / Ethegy (noun) –  Muppet for "effigy," a crude representation of someone disliked, used for the purpose of ridicule.  Example: "When he was a young lad, Walt Disney hanged a bunch of Muppets in effergy as a declaration of war against Jim Henson."  (6/14/18 and 03/27/23)
  Effortly  (adverb) –  Muppet for "effortlessly."  Example: "Gus is able to pull off a daily radio show effortly, because his standards for quality are insanely low."   (8/15/2018)
  Elder - a person in a church who is old, has a big beard, and looks like a Medieval wizard. Example:  "Tyler wanted to see inside the shiny Mormon Temple, but the church elder denied him entry, by raising his arms and yelling, "Thou Shall Not Pass!"
Elegant -  having of fluent, forceful, and appropriate speech (i.e. eloquent).   Example:  "Lino is an elegant and convincing broadcaster."  (05/30/24)
 Eleventy  (noun) –  a numeral described as "about eleven, but maybe not quite eleven."  Also a non-canonical (and non-existent chapter) from Matthew's gospel that describes Jesus calming the winds.  Example:  "And on the eleventy day, God made motorcycles for man to go faster than his feet could carry him..." (5/21/2018)
 Elmer's Glue  (noun) – a brand of adhesive made by extracting glue from horses.  "Lino's betting horse not only lost the race, but now it's being shipped to the Elmer's Glue factory for execution.  Gooch!"  (4/4/18)
Emotional Luggage - Muppet for "emotional baggage," which is the issues, stressors, pain, and difficulties that can affect one's relationships.  Example:  "Tyler isn't the kind of guy to carry around a lot of emotional luggage from his past relationships." (5/17/23)
  Encumbering - circling or bringing about something.  Example:  "The Catholic Guy Show brings listeners from all walks of life, encumbering the youths and the olds, the liberal and the conservative, and even a Muppet contingency."  (03/10/2021).

 “English is good for me.”   Why do we avoid those things that are best for us?  (1/18/18)

Englishicize – to make in English form or character.  Example: "Even when he tries to Englishicize his words, Tyler's words still make little sense to the audience."  (8/3/22)
  Epiclesis - "the word that says you're having a seizure."  Example:  "It might sound like Tyler is suffering from epiclesis when he talks, but really, that's just his normal speaking rhythm."  (06/02/2021)
 Epiclesising –  the action of a priest invoking the Holy Spirit upon the Eucharistic bread and wine.  Example:  "Fr. Fred was so prayerful, that even screaming children didn't phase him while epiclesising during Mass."  (10/14/19)
 Epiletic shock (noun) – Muppet for "anaphylactic shock," an extreme, often life-threatening allergic reaction to an antigen to which the body has become hypersensitive.    Example:  "It's a good thing people can't be allergic to boredom, otherwise the few dozen folks that call into Gus' show would go into epiletic shock while on hold."  (7/31/19)
“You gotta have equal side debate on anything...".   (09/18/2024)
Ergonomical - having a bunch of places be in the same location.  (12/09/24)
Eschatology - the study of the best way to get to heaven, or how the soul "escalates" to heaven.  (2/23/22)

  “Euuugggghhhhh.”  Tyler’s hallmark funny sound from the “Say Hi to Me” parody.  Used by Fake Tyler on demand when a ridiculous sound is necessary.

  “You can’t curse evil and the Patriots are evil so your Gooch powers don’t work on them.”  (1/23/18)

 Ewan McGregor (person) - (first name pronounced "Eh-wan") - the Scottish actor most recognized as Obi-Wan Kenobi in the Star Wars prequel trilogy.  (replay on 5/7/19 (Podcasts 353 and 368).
 Exercising the demoniacs  (noun) – meaning to "exorcise," a ritual conducted to drive out evil spirits from a person possessed by demons. ." Example: "The first thing the priest did when he arrived at the haunted gym was to exercise the demoniacs." (09/27/2018, replayed on Podcast 368)
  Expiation -  the process of fast-decaying bodies in Saints, also known as "super-corruptibles."  Example:  "Even the bishops were surprised at the extreme expiation of St. Doug's body upon it's exhumation."  (01/13/2022)
  Explanation Point  -  Muppet for "exclamation point."  Example:  "Be sure to add an explanation point to the word "Huzzah!""  (12/6/2021)
  Extranormal (adjective) –  extraordinary, or remarkable.  While not confirmed, it's possibly a combination of the words "extraordinary" and "supernatural."  Example: "Demons are very extranormal things... I'd have to see one to actually be convinced of it's presence." (11/23/2020).
  “The extreme of consciousness”  – Muppet for “stream of conscious," or a continuous flow of ideas or reactions to events.  Example: “Fr. Jim allowed us to peek into his extreme of counciousness when he retold the story of his spat with his college roommate,  Chris.”  (Podcast 301, 9/21/17)
  Extreme Unction  - the process of placing the finest oil all over the body of someone who's in pain from a lot of sin.   (07/22/2021)
"It is easier for a rich man to get into Heaven, than the eye of a needle to go through a camel."  (6/17/22)
 “I have young eyes that work properly, and you guys don't... your eyes are older.  Eyes don't age like wine; they age like, ugh, you know, mayonnaise.  Older is worser.”   (03/22/2019)

F

Tyler-Ism Library
  Fake Knowledge – personal knowledge that is either fake news or just incorrect. Example: "Nasty listeners may say that Tyler has fake knowledge, but he really has the best knowledge."  (7/25/18)
 “Hey God... where were you buddy?  I could have used your help back there when I was falling back on my face."  Some people accept things as face value or try to save face.  But Tyler?  He falls back on his face.  (09/22/2021)
 Fastidious - deriving from the word "fast," meaning to be "fast to write something down quickly", often as a result of laziness.  In reference to Matthew writing one of the gospels, Tyler said,"They're very fastidious, those tax collectors.  They know how to write down stuff."  (6/18/19, Podcst 374)
Fastpass (noun) – an easy, time-saving shortcut used by martyrs to gain entry to heaven;  Martyrdom is the "easy way" to heaven.  Example: "St. Peter's crucifixion was just a huge publicity stunt.  People think he was so brave to face execution, but he really just wanted a fastpass to Heaven." (4/23/2018)
 Fetish - (noun) - loving to talk about one's own death.  Tyler claims he does know the real definition, but choose to use it incorrectly.  "I thought those guys who worship women's feet were really weird, but Dr. Kevorkian's fetish is really wild."   (5/1/2018: Kermuppets Day)
 “The mind is just a fickle mistress... you just don't know what it's going to come up with.” Suddenly, Tyler's mind is a scandalous temptress. (9/26/18)
  "It's like fighting upstream..." - A Muppet twist on the phrase "swimming upstream," or chose a difficult course of action.    (9/26/22)
  "I will look at it with a finer combed eye."   You've heard of inspecting something with a fine-tooth comb, but have you ever used a fine combed eye?  (11/28/23)
 “Dentists shouldn't be called doctors.  They're not treating anyone for medical things.  They're treating teeth.  Teeth aren't alive.  They're like fingernails in your mouth... The teeth are part of the jurisdiction of the mouth.  And like such, you wouldn't need a degree to become a manicurist or pedicurist.  It's the same thing.” (8/25/2020)
Firewood –  as per Tyler, "anything you throw into a fire."  Example:  "I added some old newspapers and yard debris into the fire pit to make some firewood."  (4/28/23)
 “Fireworks are inherently stupid.”  Fire, explosions, splashes of color.... lame.  (1/16/2018)
  Fisher  - a person who catches fish for a living, but has no purpose to live for.  Example: "Before meeting Jesus, Peter and Andrew were just a couple of fishers who had nothing to live for."  (07/14/2021)
  "Fists to the fire" -  (phrase) - Muppet for "feet to the fire," which is to pressure someone to comply or consent.   Example:  "I wasn't too motivated to create a new show segment, but Lino really held my fists to the fire to make sure that I completed the task."  (6/1/20)
Flexstability – the ability to be stable, and yet also flexible.  Example: "Skyscrapers are built with flexstability to be able to withstand both earthquakes and high wind speeds.”  (09/06/23).
  "It's not like some magical flip that switches, or something." - Do switches flip or do flips switch?   (06/23/23)

 Flirting Process – a three step process for flirting and attracting mates.  Step 1) Show some thigh.   Step 2) Throw out a one-liner.  Step 3) Release mating call (See “Rrrewhhhhhhhhhh“.    (2/13/18)

  “I did flummox that word.”  An ironic response as Tyler admits he mispronounced a word (unknown date). "[Bob Dylan] just completely flummoxed the word."  Bob and Tyler must have the same linguistics coach.  (12/4/2023)
 Foie gras –  a dish made from a duck or a goose that is killed immediately after it is frightened.  Example:  "This foie gras is excellent.  It must have been exposed to 'Sieze the Day' immediately before being slaughtered."  (9/13/19)
  Foistered - imposed an unwelcome or unnecessary thing on to someone.  Example:  "Lino's nose being foistered upon him was only one of his challenges as a child."  (9/11/20)
  FOMO - "feeling of being left out."   (10/21/20)
 “I'm trying to fondle for an excuse, but I can't find one.”  Excuses have never felt so violated.   (06/29/20)
 “I don’t know how to make food.” – describes Tyler’s culinary skills. (1/16/2018)  "I just don't have the genes for it... my mom does and I don't."  It's true that Chef Boyardee comes from a prestigious blood line of Italian chefs and industrial canners. (4/25/18)
 “That's an interesting food for thought.” Fun things happen when two idioms combine forces.  (9/9/19, Podcast 385)
“When you see a fork in the road, take it!... you don't have any choice but to take it, 'cause otherwise, you have to do like a u-turn and turn around."  Tyler explains the fork in the road analogy while offering hints for efficient travel."  (09/12/2024)
  "Let's fork it down!" - Tyler's idiom for "choke it down."  Example:  "The cough medicine tasted terrible, but I managed to fork it down."  (08/08/23)
  Franklin Delanor Roosevelt - 32nd President of the United States.  (06/14/2021)
 Fresca (noun) – Muppet for "fresco," a painting done rapidly in watercolor on wet plaster on a wall or ceiling.  Example: “Some historians say that Filippo Brunelleschi was both partially Polish and a great fresca painter, but he died before the Renaissance, so that claim is unsubstantiated."  (7/20/18)
 Fun Lent (noun) – Muppet for “Advent.”  Period of preparation for Christmas that is characterized by fun, revelry and unabashed gluttony. (11/30/17)

G

Tyler-Ism Library
  Gallant (adjective) – in Muppet, something that is "very good, but in a classy way." Or, "It can mean whatever you want it to mean."  Example: "Pops Rulli feared for the worst when his organ wouldn't perform at Catholic Guy Con, but his efforts were gallant when it finally began to sing out."  (8/28/2018)
  Galossians (noun) –  the 74th book in the Bible, created by combining Galatians and Colossians.  Example: "My favorite Bible verse comes from Galossians: "For God so loved the world that he made fast the bears." (6/12/2018)
Gangdam Style / Gagnam Style  - a popular, catchy Korean dance song performed by artist Psy.  (6/9/22)
 Gargoyle Ledge (noun) – a small balcony outside of NYC apartments used to display one's gargoyle collection and to scare away children.  Example:  "Lino had to relocate his gargoyle collection from the gargoyle ledge to make room for Jill's flourishing garden."  (7/25/19, Podcast 378)
 Generation (noun) – all of the people born and living in the same 8 or 12-13 year period.  The average generation is 12 years as this is the age that most people begin puberty, thus are able to have children and birth the next generation.  Example:  "Lino has been alive for over four generations, which is why is back hurts so much."  (7/24/19).
 George Step-an-op-o-gus  - an American television host, political commentator, and former Democratic advisor.
 “Give me a minute, it might take me a minute to get it up.” – We think Tyler was just requesting an extra minute to retrieve a sound clip on demand, but... Hey-oh! (3/8/18)
 “ Saint Euphemia was mauled to death by a bear, which... giggled me to most delight.”  (01/15/2021)
Gillards – the internal "seeds and gook" of a pumpkin.  Example: "Sally scooped out the gillards of the pumpkins before carving faces into each one."  (10/21/22)
Gizzards – the insides of anything.  Example: "The pinata's gizzards flew across the party room as the children hit it with the bat."  (10/21/22)
  Glass half-full/Glass half-empty -  a analogy for a scenario where a person sees two glasses, either half-full or half-empty, and is able to combine those glasses into one full glass, and create something improved or different.  (10/2/20)
 "I am not sure if glasses were invented in the 1600's or not."  Which is why nothing before the Renaissance should be trusted.  Do you really trust folks with poor eyesight to accurately record history?  (5/31/18)
 Gnocchi - pronounced "not-chee," small italian dumplings made from potato.  (02/23/24)
  “That's not a bad go-through of it!”  This was Tyler's response after Lino talked through a solution in Catholic Encryption.  (01/07/2024)
  Gold tooth (noun) –a single dental prosthesis used to intimidate and instill fear in strangers.  Tyler explains that it's similar to "Getting a tattoo on your face;  you don't mess with those people... People got the point that I'm a dangerous person with one [gold tooth], but you get two and then it's just silly." (10/25/18 (Podcast 348), 01/30/19 and 01/23/20 (Podcast 400))
  Gong  (noun) – a "good and a bad thing" that is "used for good or evil" in Asian cultures. Also a percussion instrument played when an Asian person enters the room. Example:  "The Chinese buffet restaurant always hits the gong when they reload the buffet with General Tso's chicken.  It's like calling cattle to their feed."  (12/2/2018)
 “... sold me a good bag of goods."   Muppet for "sell a bill of goods," meaning to deceive or swindle.  (12/9/2021)
  Grab my arm  (phrase) – a phrase that has the same meaning or connotation as "twist my arm." Example: "If you want me to make a new song parody about Fr. Jim not taking a DNA test, just ask me. You don't have to grab my arm." (10/15/2018)
 “The greasy wheel gets the oil."  Most folks oil the squeaky wheel in this phrase, but well, Tyler isn't most people.  (06/14/2021)
 Greeks - a fun, ethnic group native to Greece, that is known for making whimsical music, taking summers off,  and having their country be in debt.  Example:  "I'm always surprised that the Greeks found enough initiative to put down the pan flute and make Greek salad and Greek yogurt, but those crappy products explain why they're all riddled with debt."  (6/04/19)
  Guest work (noun) -  work performed ahead of time to eliminate extra steps later.  Example: "Tyler buys eggnog with the liquor already added in as to avoid the guest work of mixing it himself." (12/01/2020 and 5/25/23).
  Gugliessimo Marconi - an Italian engineer, inventor, and pioneer of long-distance radio transmission.  (01/29/2021).

H

Tyler-Ism Library
  Haircutress - a female hair-cutter.  "Lino needed a haircut badly during quarantine and was able to convince his wife to be his substitute haircutress."    (10/23/20)
 Half-Hazardly –  Half doing it, but half not really paying attention.  Example:  "That guy in the parable was just throwing around his seed half-hazardly."  (8/22/19 and 4/28/23)
 Ham Sandwich (noun) – the preferred food chosen on Friday’s during Lent to help support the chicken farming industry (3/2/18).  Also, a commodity that is very difficult to find in the Holy Land (6/29/18).  Example: "It may just look like a boring ham sandwich to you, but to me, I see the fulfilled dreams of a tiny poultry farmer child."
 Hand food - small, individual portions of food that are eaten out of the hand.  Example:  "We're serving hand food at our party, such as  pizza rolls, undeviled eggs, pigs in a blanket, and chicken wings." (2/13/22)
  "Hanging on a cliff" -  Muppet for a cliffhanger.   Example:  "The season finale of 'The Great American Potpie Cookoff' really left me hanging on a cliff."   (09/22/2021)
“My hard-knifing, Muppetry voice does not play well with that.”   Hard-knifing or hard-cutting?  In Tyler's version, all we can picture is a B-rate slasher film.  (06/27/2024)
 Harmonica (noun) – An ancient Aramaic Instrument.  Example: "I imagine that Jesus played "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" on his harmonica as he hung out with the apostles on their fishing boat."  (1/24/2018) (Podcast 317)
"I have my questions..."  - Muppet for "I have my doubts."  Example:  "History says St. George slayed a real dragaon, but I have my questions."  (3/11/22)
 Havoc - a word with the letter "r" in the middle.  (1/27/22)
  "You were head over your skis on that one."  Tyler doesn't always think with his head, but that didn't stop him from inserting it into the common phrase "out over your skis."  (09/20/23)
Healing Herbs – herbs (with the "h" heavily pronounced) use as a medical treatment.  Example: "Saint Fiacre grew many Healing Herbs in his garden to treat various ailments."  (9/7/22)
Heart death -  the clinical term for a death that is not brain death.  Example:  "The autopsy report showed that Prince died as a result of unexpected heart death."  (05/07/24)
 “Heavy is the crown that wears the head."  Yep, you heard that right.  (08/23/2021)
 “I feel like people aren’t as afraid of Hell as they used to be, like in the 50’s.  Like, Hell was a big deal in the 50’s.  It’s kind of like lost it’s luster in the two-thousand-teens.  Or whatever this decade is called.” Tyler suggests that the Church "Make Hell Hot Again" to revitalize attendance.  (1/10/18)
 “Hemmed and hawed back in both directions.”  A phrase used to describe when a person attempts to evade or procrastinate in answering a question, by giving vague responses.  Example:  "When Lino asked Tyler why he didn't prepare a segment for the show, Tyler hemmed and hawed back in both directions to explain away his lack of planning".  (11/03/2020)
 Hey – grass that has been cut and dried that makes loud rustling sounds during Baby Jesus' birth story.  (12/18/19, Podcast 396)
 Hindsight  - understanding of a situation immediately after something happens.  Example: "When Tyler opened the new game without first playing an open, Lino realized in hindsight, that Tyler did not do any work that day."  (5/14/19)
"... but I want to hint you in the right direction."  - Muppet for "point you in the right direction."  Example:  "If you need help during the game, Tyler might be nice enough to hint you in the right direction."  (6/9/22)

 Hobbies (noun) – an activity done in one’s leisure time for pleasure.  Invented in 1880’s after mass production of stuff allowed for people to have things needed for hobby activities.  Prior to the 1880’s, society lacked the material goods to have hobbies and resorted to churning butter and riding horses.  Example: “What did Jesus do between his resurrection and ascension since hobbies weren’t invented yet?”  (Podcast 283, 5/2/17)

 Home Economics (noun) – The study of etiquette and manners, or whether to use the big fork or the little fork.  "The only home economics that I'm worried about is whether my Mom pays my Netflix bill each month."  (1/23/2018)
 Home Hoodie (noun) – an official, designated-survivor hoodie that is free of the dirt of NYC and is worn only at home.  Example: “As soon as I get home, I’m running to the second floor, prying off this nasty away-hoodie, and putting on my clean-but-worn-four-days-in-a-row home hoodie.”  (2/2/2018)
  Homoousious -  man ooze;  the process of dirt becoming man.   (11/10/2021)
 Hoodies (noun) –a hooded sweatshirt that is the preferred Muppet uniform.  Also a way of rating things, like movies.  Example: “I rate Jurassic Park at four hoodies as it is the best movie of all time.”
  How Great Thou Art (hymn) –  a "send-off" hymn sung at funerals to acknowledge the great memory of the deceased.  Example: "I got a little choked up when hearing "How Great Thou Art" at Uncle Phil's funeral, because it reminded me that yeah, he was a pretty great dude."  (5/12/20)
 “I'm kind of surprised that you feel that you need to protect anyone... I don't feel it's that big of a deal if you reveal how the bacon is made.”   For most people, the idiom is "how the sausage is made," but when it comes down to it, the actual cut of the pig you choose is six, half dozen, or the other.  (01/20/2021)
 Hucking  (verb) - an activity inspired by Huckleberry Finn, of going on an organized trip to several different places throughout a region, particularly in the south.   Example: "Mark Hart goes hucking all over the south telling people about the Bible and bad 80's music."  (8/13/18)
 Humphrey Bogarts (noun) – Not to be confused with Humphrey Bogart – (Intro to Podcast 299, 8/8/17)
  Hyperdulia - a physical fight between two men who are vying to become pope.  Example:  "Cardinals Largehat and Bigstaff will face off in a hyperdulia to determine which of them will be the next pope."   (07/22/2021)

I

Tyler-Ism Library
  “I am an economic.”  (02/19/2024)
 “I didn't see that wall coming.”  A phrase used when something totally unexpected happens.  (8/25/2020)
  “I want for no man.”   A Muppet-mix-up of "I envy no man," and "I want for nothing."  (05/07/2024)
  “I'm all game.”  A Muppet mash-up of "I'm all in," and "I'm game."  Also can be said as, "I'm gamey."  (03/15/2024)
 Ian Zierling -  actor best known for his role as Steve Sanders on the television series Beverly Hills, 90210.  His last name includes the "invisible letter" phenomenon where an extra letter is pronounced, although not found within the name.  (03/18/24)
 Idiom - "a phrase-y thing that means something." (2/16/22)
  Impale - to jab or pierce, particularly with a hypodermic needle.   Example:  "After keeping me waiting, the blood lady only furthered her cruel punishment, by impaling me with a needle during my blood draw."  (03/01/2021).
 “In my own head, it made sense... in the context of my head.  My head provides the context for it to make sense.  When it's not in my brain anymore, then it's just out in the open.  It's naked and there are no surrounding thoughts.  It's out of context."  We're pretty sure this was the whole premise of The Matrix.  (01/13/2020)
  "I don't think the game is in the cards for you..." - Said to Lino while he performed poorly during a game.    (10/25/22)
 In thorough  - a manner of doing something in depth or in detail.  Saying "in thorough" instead of "thoroughly" makes you sound smarter.  Example:  "Jen Fulwiler sometimes doesn't understand how games are played, despite Lino and Tyler explaining the rules in thorough."  (5/10/19)
  Inaugural/Inaugreal/Innaugreal/Inaugaral (noun) – the various mispronunciations of "inaugural".    Example: "in•AUGH•ree•ahl, IN•aug•REE•AHL, in•AUGH•ARR•ahl."
Incinerator – a garbage disposal.  Example: "Be sure to scrape your dinner scraps into the incinerator before soaking the plate."  (8/23/22)
  Incommunicado (adjective) –  a fancy way to say "in communication with."  Example: "It's wrong to assume that priests have evolved to a greater incommunicando with God that the rest of us can not attain." (11/17/2020).
 Indignant (adjective) – used to describe Bob Dylan’s Christmas album. Quote: "I'm indignant, you're indignant, it's indignant."  (12/13/2017 and 8/13/18)
Indisbeautiful -  a Muppet mash-up of "indisputable" and "beautiful."  Quote:  "You know what is indisbeautiful, Lino, is that this was a beautiful show."  (01/27/25)
  Infalled  (verb) – to be ousted or unseated from a position, particularly in reference to the Pope.  Example:  "The pope can not be disposed, like some Banana Republic despot.  He can remain pope as long as he pleases... he can not be infalled."  (7/23/19).
 “You have information go into your head, and the the booze has the information go out of your head... You don't know anything about science.”  Tyler's explanation for how drinking completely erases any memory of what happened prior in the same day.   (04/29/2019)
 “My intelligence is very smooth.” – Tyler discussing his intellectual capacity.  Yep, smooth as the dull edge of a blunted pencil.  (2/7/2018)
“If you're intentionally stupid, you're not stupid, you're genius.  Or something."  Wise men say.... only fools say nonsense like this.  (09/06/2024)
  "[But because I'm so] intricately important to the functionality of the show..." - When we think of Tyler's work ethic "intricate" isn't the word that comes to mind.   (09/12/23)
  Invisible Letters (noun) –letters in a word that are pronounced but not actually found within the word.  For example, Greg Allman is pronounced "Greg AllmanD."  Bicep is pronounced "bicepT."  Example: "Everyone knows that of all of the brothers, Greg Allmand's bicept was the largest."  (02/25/19)
"Ipso fatso" – Muppet for "ipso factso."    Example: "Lino was born in Minnesota and he ipso fatso has a claim to Canadian citizenship."  (7/22/22)

J

Tyler-Ism Library
 "Once you go Japanese, you don't go back-an-ese.”   Tyler's completely unoffensive explanation for why the he prefers the original Ninja Warrior production over the American Ninja Warrior spin-off.   (05/24/18, replayed on Podcast 368)
 Jeasus-y Time (Noun) – The time between Jesus' birth and ascension, when he starred in his Jesus Adventures.   Example: "Chicken pot pie definitely existed during Jesus-y time, because the son of God would have demanded such a delicacy."  (1/17/18)
 After Jesus-y Time (Noun) – The time period after Jesus ascended into Heaven.  Example:  "The disciples did a lot of walking after Jesus-y time and probably went through dozens of pairs of Adidas."  (1/17/18)
 Before Jesus-y Time (Noun) – From the beginning of time until Jesus was born.  Example:  "Before Jesus-y time, God appeared in burning bushes and lots of prophets walked around naked... kind of like the modern Warped Tour." (1/17/18)
 Jesus Adventures  (noun) – the things Jesus did while on earth, like saving people, feeding people, and partaking in the food he made.  Example: "The  Church should make a Jesus Adventures comic book.  It would be pure profit."  (4/23/18) 
 Jesus Math (noun)  – Mathematical theorem that explains the miracle of the multiplication of the fish an loaves.   Case suggests that Jesus fed the crowd by breaking five loaves and two fish into 5000 smaller pieces, thus providing an individual serving for each person.  The miracle is not the actual multiplication of food, but that all in the crowd were fulfilled on mere crumbs.   See also, "Heresy."  (4/12/18)
 Jesus Waves (noun) – energy emitted from a dead apostle carcass that can be felt and absorbed by living humans through osmosis, but only if they believe it's happening.  Also known as "Jesus vapors."  Example:  "Modern pilgrims must be really careful when visiting the tomb of St. Peter, as he's been known to let off some wicked Jesus waves."  (7/25/19)
“[John Lennon] is dead now, because he's not in the Beatles."  We think Tyler may need a lesson in cause and effect.  (09/17/2024)
 Johnny Cochran  (noun) –  an addendum added to a typically nonsensical, rhyming argument to strengthen one's legal disputation.    Example:  "Wearing of a toupee is a form of adultery and should be penalized under the most severe penalty of law.  Johnny Cochran!" (5/21/2018)
 Jordan - a country known for it's copious deserts and balm production, and literally nothing else.   There are entire cities in Jordan, such as Petra, that are void of civilization, water, grass, and grocery stores.   (2/5/2020)

K

Tyler-Ism Library
 Karochrial School (noun)  - Muppet for "parochial school." Example:  "Mark's hobbies include 80's music, preaching the good word, and working to pay for his kids' karochrial school tuition."  (1/7/20, Podcast 398)
  "Keep a tight ship." - to be very strict in running an organization.  Example:  "Other than the occasional heresy or microphones-turned-off incidents, the executive producer of the Catholic Guy Show keeps a tight ship."  (8/13/20)
“I would have just kinda like, keeped everything in the same range."  Keeped, kept.  Sweeped swept.  Verbs tenses are hard.  (02/27/2025)
 Kermuppets (noun) – Muppet for "comeuppance".  Also, the eponymous day celebrated on May 1st.   Example: “Tyler really gets his kermuppets when he's put in his cage for spouting heresy.” (5/1/17)
 “I tell people all the time.  Kids will only get you sick.  They're only trouble  Don't have them."   (7/16/18)
 King David - a famous adulteress.  Example: "King David could have saved himself a lot of trouble with Uriah by simply connecting with Bathsheba on the Ashley Madison app ."  (6/14/19, Podcast 373)
 King Solomon  – a rich, ugly guy who didn't accomplish anything great, but was the smartest guy alive.  Example: "King Solomon was totally the Bill Gates of his time.  Minus the technology empire and dorky glasses."   (5/2/2018)
  Kosher (adjective) – food that is not real meat or is made of tofu.  (9/4/2018)

L

Tyler-Ism Library
Land of Ur – the "place filler" stammering pseudonym given to Abraham's birthplace, of which the real name is not known.   Actual quote: "[They said] Abraham was from... uh... urrr... Just write "Ur".  We'll figure out its name later.”  (08/02/23).
Last Second Resort – a Muppet mix of "at the last second" and "the last resort."  Example: "With only minutes until show time, Tyler booked Tom Leopold to call in as a last second resort for an open block of show time."  (01/27/23)
  The Last Supper - the final meal that Jesus shared with the apostles.  Because people didn't eat at tables during this time, the supper was enjoyed on a mat or Middle Eastern rug placed on the floor, like a modern picnic.   (01/19/2021).
  Leather  (noun) – a substance made from animal skins (possibly cats, but mostly cows), that is used for making shoes, and was invented in the Late Renaissance (1400’s or 1500’s, “somewhere around there”), hence the reason the Dutch made shoes out of wood first.   Example:  “Jesus never saw leather because his dad didn’t invent cows yet.”  (2/21/18)
Les Moon-veys -  an American media executive who was the chairman and CEO of CBS Corporation from 2003 -2018."  (06/12/24)

  Light Changer (noun) – A traffic light.  (1/23/18)

Light Talking – Muppet for "small talk," which is the respectful, lightly-toned conversation used during social occasions.  Example: "The company's holiday party was full of light talking and copious drinking."  (12/19/22)
 Lighting of candles - an prayerful action done to help someone's soul, or something, find it's way to Heaven.  The candle leads the soul by lighting the way to Heaven.  Example:  "Lighting candles in church is a win/win situation.  I get to play with fire and I also help a soul find it's way to Heaven."  (10/14/20)
  "You can have little diddles here and there." - Yeah, we're not sure.  This is what happens when Tyler turns verbs into nouns.   (08/30/23)
  Living off the lam (phrase) – Muppet for "living off the land."   Example: "My earliest Veghte ancestors were real pioneers, living off the lam in central New Jersey." (01/22/19, replayed on Podcast 368)
  Loincloth (noun) – a single piece of cloth wrapped round the hips that was "invented by the Native Americans".  Example: "It's pretty weird that Jeremiah is talking about loincloths in the Bible when the garment wasn't invented until the Native Americans came along."  (04/03/19)
“Bunker down... you're in it for the long hole.” You might be tough enough to withstand something for the long haul, but only the strongest can survive in the long hole.  (08/16/2024)
“Look at Saint Paul... he started killing Christians and... not too much longer-later, he was like, leading them."  We're not suer how many years "longer-later" is, but we assume it's a relatively short amount of time.  (03/24/2025)
Ludeye -  Muppet for "luddite," a person opposed to new technology or ways of working.  Example:  "Lino may be a senior citizen, but he's no ludeye."  (6/21/22)

M

Tyler-Ism Library
  “Once you get stuck in the magic underwear, you can't get out."  Tyler's explanation for why it's so difficult for Mormons to leave their faith.  (8/18/2018, at Catholic Guy Con)
  Magisterium (noun) –  a place in the back of an undisclosed location, where priests hang out and where the magic happens.  Example:  "Fr. Harry couldn't wait to join his brother priests at the magisterium to show off his newest magic show material."   (7/27/20)
 Mahjong (noun) – a game that old,  Jewish, Chinese women play.  Example:  "Miryam kvetshed that she shlepped the Mahjong board across town with much chutzpah and only a shiksa showed up to play."  (Podcast 293, 7/24/17 and on 03/27/2019).
 Mammon - a type of waterfish, similar to salmon, that existed in Jesus-times but is now extinct.  Example:  "The apostles were flummoxed to find their nets overflowing with mammon after Jesus sent them out to sea a second time."   (6/20/19)
  “Man plans and God winks.”  No laughing here...   (03/25/2024)
Manna - "heaven bread" that has the texture and flavor of "tasty glowworms."  (08/22/24)
  Maranatha - the pueblo word meaning "Ooh, we get to eat vegetables!"  Example:  "Mark concluded his dinner prayer by crossing himself over his plate of blanched kale, and whispering, "Maranatha.""  (01/26/2021).
  Mass position (noun) – a role typically held by a layperson at the Mass, such as a lector or lectress, cantor, or an usher.   Example:  “I wonder if Gus' favorite Mass position is ushering...  With all their handing out of pamphlets and passing around the money basket, he would be a great fit .”  (11/15/19)
 “I don't want you anywhere near where my meal money is made, so to speak."  We think this is a Tyler-combination of "cash cow" and "how the sausage is made," but only Tyler knows what "meal money" really is.  (10/21/2021)
  Messengee (noun) – a person who receives a message.  Also known as a "receivee."  (11/19/19)
 Middle Ages - a time period when human stoning was in vogue and the people "weren't smart" and didn't "understand how healthcare works and all kinds of other stuff."   Example:  "Physicians used to treat people with leaches in the middle ages, but at least that felt better than being stoned."  (6/26/19, Podcast 375)
  Middleman of Learning - a figurative, doorman-like entity inside of Tyler's brain that makes learning more difficult.  Shortcuts like mnemonic devices or acronyms help to bypass the brain's "middleman."  Quote:  "[My] brain has to do all of the work of gathering the information and bringing it to me... shortcuts eliminate the use of my brain... Anytime I can cut my brain [and middleman] out of doing any of the work, I'm all for it."  (01/28/2021).
“I was proud of the fact that we had the same mind-thought".   (09/19/2024)
 Minister's Convention  - a convention filled with ministers.  Example: "Fr. Kyle is really looking forward to getting some new bulletin cover art and homily ideas and at the upcoming minister's convention."   (04/30/2019, Podcast 367)
 Minka Burrzenzinksi – an American journalist, talk show host, liberal political commentator. (11/14/19, Podcast 390)
 Minute-ly (adverb) – meaning at every minute.  Also, the frequency at which Tyler messes up.  Example: "Tyler has at least 15 tasks that he must perform minute-ly at work, and if we're lucky, he accomplishes maybe three."  (1/25/2018)
  Miracled (verb) - to carry out or execute a miracle.  Example:  "When Jesus saw the hungry 5000 people, he raised his arms and miracled some grub for everyone to eat."  (01/15/2021).
  Monastic Life (noun) – a life devoted to Jesus in a convent and without cable, women or distractions. Monks sit inside and pray all day, make beer and do laundry, say the rosary and wear rags from 1200's. Hairstyle is limited to shaved tops of heads, but not on the sides. (9/4/2018)
“[I bet on] a bunch of teams I thought were going to win for sure... this is money in the bag!".   Tyler seems to have little faith in our county's banking system.  (09/23/2024)
Money Sound - a crucial sound byte that is most important in a news segment.  Example:  "The reporter kept questioning the witness until he gave the perfect money sound for the news hit."  (2/1/22)
 Money user  - something that costs money.  Example:  "Some churches put the Mass reading on a large screen instead of using individual missals, because those books are just money users."  (3/9/22)
  Monkey pilots (plural noun) –a primate astronaut capable of steering a rocket ship that was used by NASA to test the safety of space travel.  Tyler explains that NASA sent monkeys "into the space and they would, you know, they would fly around.  And they were like, "Okay, the monkeys can fly the spacecraft, let's have people do it.... Right, monkey pilots." (01/28/19, Podcast 358; replayed on Podcast 368)
  Morocco - a country known for it's rocks, sand, or "deserty land", and for lacking mountains, green grass and the Tuscan country side.  (1/17/20)  
  Moronic device (noun) – misnamed "mnemonic device" in some circles, it's a learning technique that aids information retention or retrieval in the human memory.  Example: "ROYGBIV is the best moronic device to help remember the order of the colors of the rainbow."  (02/25/19)
 Movie Cassette  (noun) – a cartridge containing recordings of images and sounds to be played in a VCR.  Example: "The best birthday gift that I have ever received is the complete collection of Weird Al music videos on movie cassette."   (7/30/2018)
  “Much length in the tooth.”   Tyler speak for "long in the tooth."  Example:  "Although Wilford Brimley has so much length in the tooth, people still respect his career as an actor."  (04/26/2024)
  Multi-author -  a book writer who's written more than one book.   Example:  "Both Mark Hart and Lino Rulli are accomplished multi-authors."  (11/29/2021)
 Muppet Logic (noun) – “The best kind of logic.”    Example:  "Tyler may have had the lowest score in the IQ test, but the skewed exam didn't even include questions on Muppet logic."  (1/30/2018)
 Muppetus Maximus (noun)  – Latin for "the great Muppet."  The most important position in the Muppet anti-religion.  Example:  "The Muppetus Maximus never takes an infallable, position, and he's always willing to agree to disagree." (3/14/18)
  Mystagogy -  the chimney thing that releases smoke during a papal conclave.  Example:  "The crowd erupted into applause when they saw white smoke emerge from the mystagogy."   (01/13/2022)

N

Tyler-Ism Library
 Nasty (adjective) – a prefix for all things and people.  Example: "I'm tired of the nasty listeners telling the nasty host every time I forget to turn on the nasty microphones."
  Nasty Beans (noun) –  the only food served in the Holy Land.  Example: "I bet if you'd give those people in the Middle East something other than nasty beans to eat, like Subway, they'd quit all that war and fighting."  (6/29/18)
  "Natural Savant" - a person who is naturally holy and will make it to heaven without even trying.  Example:  "Holy Heather hasn't sinned since 1997;  she's a real natural savant."   (09/22/2021)
 “One of the things that Jesus said [is], "It's easier for a needle to pass through the eye of a camel, than it is for a rich man to enter heaven."  Yup, that's a direct quote from the J-man, himself.  (2/4/2022)
Neev Campbell - a Canadian actress best know for her role in the Scream horror film series. (1/27/22)
Neil Patrick Harris  - the most famous man named "Patrick," who is the "Neil" of Patrick Harris's.  The first name, "Neil" is actually a courtesy title.  (6/2/22)

 Netflixing (verb) – The act of watching Netflix.  As in, “Eh, Hey mom, I need more beer because I drank it all Netflixing“.  – Requested Entry by Lino on (1/30/2018)

  Nicea  (noun) – a hidden city that is lost to history, like Troy in Homer's Odyssey, or the city of Atlantis but is still somehow located in modern day Turkey. (9/19/2018)
  Nicene (noun) – the name for both a creed of faith and an actual place.  Example: "The city of Nicene is lost to history, sort of like Atlantis, but at least someone wrote down their creed before the city was destroyed."  (9/19/2018)
 “Better to nip something in the bud early, then to waste your time weeding later.”   Don't let the flowery image confuse you.  This adage may sound like a real phrase, but we assure you that it's just Muppet nonsense.  (01/28/2021)
Nitch market -  Muppet for "niche market."  Quote:  "People don't really go for the non-quality, so we're really hitting the nitch market of people looking for non-quality."  (02/26/25)
 Nomad (noun) – a "hobo with more prestige" who has lived in more than three cities over 18 years.   Example: "Doug the nomad may have been without a home, but he commanded a lot of respect in the homeless camp."  (Podcast 276, 2/28/17,  and 7/6/22)
Non-Meat food -  a food that is meatless, thus safe to eat on days of abstinence during Lent.  (03/11/25)
  Normals / "Normies" (noun) –  the laity, or the "not-a-clergy" people.  Example: "A priest has the great responsibility of meeting both the spiritual and temporal needs of the normals at his parish."   (7/27/20 and 3/10/22)
  North Pole -  "a euphemism for heaven."   Example:  "It must be really crowded in the North Pole, with Santa, the elves, and all of throngs of angels and saints."  (12/6/2021)
  “I was introduced to my friend's new girlfriend, who's now wife at the time.”  (01/07/2024)
  "We've done this segment before, so I figured we got all the nuts and bolts out of it." - A Muppet twist on the phrase similar to "iron out the kinks."   (6/20/22)

O

Tyler-Ism Library
Occam's Razor Blade – that principal that says that if you have two competing ideas to explain the same phenomenon, you should prefer the simpler one, because it surely has a razor blade on it.  (06/16/23)
  Ocean of Mexico (place) – a coastal region of Mexico, particularly in reference to Zihuatanejo, a city mostly known for it's reference in The Shawshank Redemption.   Example:  “Andy hoped that someday he'd be free in Zihuatanego, a beautiful place on the ocean of Mexico.”  (11/11/19, Podcast 390).
  "You keep all the people off-foot." - Tyler's idiom for "on their toes."  Example:  "Lino kept the listeners off-foot while he told the story about his most recent trip."  (04/24/23)
  “You got to try to start on the right foot, 'cause otherwise, you're gonna be off-foot.”  That's our Tyler... always making sure things are in balance.  (03/04/2024)
“[Exodus is] kind of old hat... quite literally... they were probably having old hats when they were walking around.  One or two of the Israelites certainly had an old hat lying around.” (07/08/2024)
  One-on-One Hobbies -  hobbies that are not group activities, such as playing the piano and petting cats.   Example:  "Since his retirement, Pope Benedict has started a few one-on-one hobbies to keep him occupied."  (01/18/2022)
Oratorally -  The fancy-Muppet way to say "orally."  Example:  "Tyler presents his parable reviews oratorally during the show."  (06/05/24)
 Orifice – a place used by scorpions for hiding.  Examples of orifices include tin cans, gutters, and shoes.  (01/06/20)
 “I got a lot of ovens in the fire...  I got a lot on my plate.” Evidently, burning laws are very lax in New Jersey.  (06/21/2019)
 Overexpensive - overpriced, or very expensive, particularly in the context of money spent on a female date (also known as "them.").  Example: "I'd rather spend money on a video game than on an overexpensive RomCom just to impress one of them."  (6/14/19)
Oxen and Sheepen – the plural for "ox and sheep".  Example: "I bet the manager really smelled with all those oxen and sheepen crammed in there."  (12/07/22)

P

Tyler-Ism Library
 “My package is not up to snuff."   -Tyler, allegedly commenting his cable package.  (9/3/19)
  Palestinians (noun) –  one of the books of the Bible attributed to Paul.  Example: "The Letters of St. Paul include Ephesians, Thessalonians, and the Palestinians".  (8/22/2018)
  Paned Glass Window - colored glass art pieces made into single-paned windows.  Example:  "St. Patrick's Cathedral in NYC has a great paned glass window depicting St. Joseph being crushed by a boulder at his worksite."  (8/19/20)
 Papyrus (noun) – “Paper you get when you don’t have any wood around.”  (2/27/18).   Also, paper that could be made "out of almost anything."  (2/4/20).  Example:  "Papyrus airplanes don't fly too well, but it's all kids in the Holy Land have since their homeland lacks wood for paper."

 “Par to the Course” – A situation that is totally normal or expected. (1/23/2018)

  (Parentheses) - words or clauses inside of brackets that are considered optional or extra-credit reading.  Example:  "Reading is hard enough... why would I read the optional stuff in parentheses?"   (09/03/2021)
 Parowsing (verb) – scanning something in a casual way. Example: "I was parowsing the Netflix last night and came across a documentary about 45 year old men and the mother's who do their laundry."  (8/3/2018 and 04/20/2020)
  Pashcal -  a lazy, Greek philosopher who came up with the famous "Pascal's Wager."  (01/13/2022)
  "[Electric candles just] don't pass the mustard." - Tyler's mispronunciation of "pass the muster."  (09/07/23)
Paten  - when the church claims ownership of something.  Ex: "The Vatican has a paten on Michelangelo's sculpture, David." (5/13/22)
 "Peak the flame" (phrase) –  Muppet for the phrase "stoke the fire," which is to incite or intensify reactions to something  Example:  "When Lino toes the line on a topic, Tyler is always ready to peak the flame & push the segment into a full blown inferno.""  (4/30/20)
  Pedastool - a supporting structure or base, that can be used to place objects or, or sat upon.  Example:  "The nasty listeners truly look up to Lino... they really put him on a pedastool."  (03/09/2021).

 “Like a blind pedestrian walking in the middle of the street, Lino hits straight on without realizing.”  (Podcast 289, 6/16/2017)

  Pee-Camel - a person who is able to last for hours between bathroom breaks, much like a camel that can go without water for days.  According to Tyler, "Lino is like a pee-camel... he can go hours without going to the bathroom."  (05/14/2021)
 Penitential Gesture -  an act to show sorrow for sin after confession, such as prayers, fasting, or acts of mortification. Example:  "After receiving absolution, Doug returned to the pew to complete his penitential gesture."  (03/06/24)
 Perculiar - (adverb)  - Muppet for "peculiar,"meaning strange or unusual.  Example:  "Some people say that Tyler is a perculiar guy."  (8/7/20)
 “Perform a Homily” – When an ordained person speaks a message to the gathered people after the reading of the Gospel.  Example: "I usually wait until the priest stands up to perform a homily before hitting up the donut table in the gathering hall." (1/16/2018)

 Perk (noun) – an extra benefit of one’s job that is shared with friends and family.  Typically includes giving away things from the prize closet without permission.   Example: “I was so angry that my mom purchased Sinner from a fine book store, when a perk of my job is giving it away for free.”  (8/1/17, Podcast 294).

 “Person of information.”  An individual who obtains facts and information before making a conclusion or accusation on a topic.  Example:  "Lino is a person of information when it comes to conspiracy theories.  He thoroughly examines all of the evidence before totally disqualifying bogus, outlandish claims.  (01/13/2021)

 Pestilence – (noun) [Pronounced: Pest-U-Lance] – a fatal epidemic disease.  Pronouncing it pes-ti-lence is “Fake News”. (1/17/18)

  Pharisee  - a member of an ancient "Jewess" sect in Jesus'  time.  (11/05/20)
 Philanderous (adjective) – wild and crazy.   Example:  “Lino's pilgrimages are known for faith, food, and philanderous evenings at his favorite restaurants.”  (10/22/19).
  Philanthropist - a person who wears a top hat and does those big, hoity-toity parties.  (10/19/20)
 Phillip the Apostle –  one of the original twelve apostles, known as the "filler apostle".  Example:  "The Bible does not include much biographical information about Phillip because he's just the filler apostle."  (8/6/19, Podcast 381)
 Philosophizer - a person engaged or learned in philosophy.  Example:  "John Henry Newman is known for being a both a great philosphizer and a salad dressing tycoon."   (6/19/19)
Phosphorescent light tubes - Muppet speak for "florescent tube lights."   Example:  "I used to put phosphorescent light tubes in my boss's parking spot, so I could hear him as he pulled in."  (10/19/23)
  Pine Barrens  (noun) – the heavily forested area in central New Jersey where the Jersey Devil resides.  "The New Jersey Pine Barrens is home to many different creatures, including the common snapping turtle, the Jersey Devil and Tyler Veghte."  (11/29/2018, Podcast 351)
 Planetarium  (noun) – "a museum of planets."   Example:  "The largest and loudest exhibit at the planetarium is the one about Uranus."  (8/7/18)
 Plant relations (noun) –  the actions of two plants, particularly indoor grapefruit trees, coming together to mate and reproduce (2/4/20).
 Point and Peck -  a Muppet typing technique, using one finger from each hand to “peck” for keys on the keyboard..  (02/06/24)
Poncho/Pouch -  a baby carrier that is worn by the parent on the chest, to allow hands-free access for the parent.   Example:  "Before going into the cry room, Doug put his baby into the poncho/pouch so his hands a free for the Sign of Peace."  (03/26/24)
 Pontificate (verb) – a big word used indiscriminately when you want to sound important.  Examples:  “I’m going to pontificate my weekly dinner menu,” or “Bob Rice says he’s a doctor just because he can pontificate on his guitar.”
 Poop bag  (noun )  - [Definition Redacted - even the BearsAreFast editing team has some standards.  Use your own nasty imaginations.]   (8/13/2018)
 Pope  (noun) – an old guy who lives in Rome, who shakes hands with Bono,  and is in charge of stuff that's religious or whatever.  (4/2/18)  
  Pope Gregory the Something  (person) – the man credited for creating the modern calendar.  Also known in some circles as Julius Caesar.  Example: "Thanks to Pope Gregory the Something, our calendar has birthdays, NFL season, and Friday Pizza Night." (01/17/2019, Podcast 355)
 Pope Urban X (noun) – a future  pope who is coming, probably in year 3000 or so.  (1/19/18)
 Posthumously  – Muppet for "after the fact."   Example:  "After hearing the misinformation I shared on the show, my college decided to rescind my history minor degree posthumously."  (6/18/2018).
  Postulant - how the Pope poses in the window over St. Peter's Square.  Example:  "Pope Francis always delivers his addresses while standing in a humble postulant."  (06/02/2021)
 “I want a pound of flesh from Fr. Jim.” – Tyler’s requested compensation from Fr. Jim asking him in exchange for changing his vacation plans to attend Catholic Guy Con.  (1/16/2018)
“I do actually have pre-thoughts on this one.”   Some producers prepare/pre-plan ideas.  Tyler Pre-thinks  his ideas.  (05/30/2024)
  Predispossessed (adjective) – someone who is already possessed.  Example:  "The demon was irritated to find that his intended human target was already predispossessed by another evil being."   (02/13/19)
 Print magazines - a printed publication containing news, feature articles, advertisements, and correspondence.  Example:  "US Today, New York Times, Washington Post and Minnesota Tattler are all well known print magazines." (01/18/24)
 Pseudo Family  (noun) – a "kinda family" or "alternative family" that consists of step siblings or step parents.  Example: “The Brady Bunch is a  a pseudo family, not a real family.  The mom is just a legally obligated babysitter to those other kids.” (Podcast 276, 2/28/17).
 Public  – anywhere outside of Tyler's room where he could be visible.  Example:  "If I parade around naked inside my house and someone sees me from outside, then I'm guilty of public nudity."   (5/2/2018)
Publicated - Muppet speak for "published."   Example:  "The story about Lino Rulli Day was publicated in all of the local newspapers."  (10/11/23)
 “ I know we've had our differences in the past, but this is my opportunity to pull out the olive branch and hand it over to you.”   Some folks extend an olive branch as a sign of peace.  In true form, Tyler gives it to you after pulling it out.   (01/18/2021)
  "... pulling out all the guns..." - Muppet for "pulling out all the stops," meaning to make a great effort to achieve something.  Example:  "Tyler was pulling out all the guns in the final around of the Scathegories game to avoid losing to Mark."   (12/14/22)
  "...on the pulse of everyone's mind..." - a Muppet-mix for "finger on the pulse" and "top of mind."  Example:  "The debate on whether Pope Francis is retiring or not is on the pulse of everyone's mind.."  (03/27/23)
 “I have my pulse on the youth.”   Mark  takes pride in having a finger on the pulse of the youth.  Tyler, on the other hand, just lays his pulse on them.  (01/19/2021)

 “After all of the expenses, it’s pure profit.”   Like people paying for satellite radio, the CGS Easter ornament line will bring only pure profit.  (1/9/18)

  “Put your feet in the fire.”  Muppet for "hold your feet to the fire," meaning to pressure someone to consent to or undertake something.  (03/14/2024)
 Putting the nose under water  - a muppetonian technique for ending a sneezing-fit through irrigating one's sinuses.  How to: 1) Turn the head upside down under a faucet, pointing the nostrils upward, to allow the water to flow into the nose.  2) Snort the water to fill the nose, until water pours down over your face and back into the sink.  3) Close/pinch the nose to keep water inside; expect some water to enter the mouth 4) Sneeze out the water so it goes everywhere.   (6/12/19)

Q

Tyler-Ism Library
  "You might lose your quest to live." - Some people have a "will to live," but for Muppets, living is a real quest.  (03/07/23)

R

Tyler-Ism Library
  Rack my head – Muppet for "rack my brain," to make a great effort to think of or remember something.  (12/06/19)
Re-go through  – to pass through or experience something again. Example: "Tyler's gold tooth set off a security warning, and he was forced to re-go through security screening at the airport ."  (03/27/23)
 “Reading is hard.”  A classic Tyler phrase.
  "... rearrange the deck chairs on the Hindenberg." - A Muppet twist on the phrase "rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic."  (7/22/22)
Relics – valuable things that are old.  Example:  "This antique shop is full of dusty, old relics."  (06/21/23)
 Remention (verb) – To bring up again.  Example: “Lino likes to remention weekly that Tyler scored the lowest on the IQ test.”  (1/15/2018)
  Remote Control (noun)  – an electronic device the size of a room that was not available in the 1970's, especially on Star Wars films.    Claims that R2D2 was operated by remote control is fake news because remotes can't "go beep boop beep boop."  Old household television remotes from the 1970's "don't count because they don't move around and talk."  (4/25/18)
 Renaissance (noun) – Beginning around 1250 AD, the turning point in history from when written word can be believed as historical evidence.   All records of events written prior to the Renaissance are considered unreliable evidence of past events.   Example:  “I really can’t trust that Jesus did all those miracle-ly things, because the people who all saw it first hand wrote about it before the Renaissance.”  (Podcast 301, 9/21/17).   The renaissance was kick-started with the creation of the Gregorian calendar, as artists were finally able to conform to a set schedule and start making their art.  (10/15/19).
Renata – Tyler's word for "regatta."   Example: "The annual renata held on the lake attracts participants from all over the country.”  (08/15/23).
 “Reow!” -   an exclamation of astonishment that is created when combining the words "really" and "wow."  Example:  "Reow!  It seems unbelievable, but Mark really was born with a hair color other than gray!"  (01/15/2021)
  "Rest my hat on..." -  (phrase) - Muppet for "hang my hat on."  Tyler says that when you're "all done and proud" of what you accomplished, you "take your hat off and rest it on the coat rack."  Example:  "I was really pleased with the open to that segment.  It is something that I really rest my hat on."  (6/4/20 and 6/29/20)
  "It seems so obvious that I'm rethinking myself."  Maybe Tyler needs to rethink some of his word choices.  (09/25/23)
 Retreat (noun) – an excursion into the wooden wilderness to avoid civilization and focus on the Bible, play banjo and sing “Kumbaya.” Example:  "Red Dead Redemption is modeled after a retreat, minus the whole Bible and banjo thing."  (2/9/18)
Riff – Muppet for "rife," meaning full of something bad or unpleasant. Example: "Tyler is riff with Muppet-like qualities."  (03/08/23)
  Riffraft - disreputable or undesirable people.  Derived from the nautical "riff" that is found on rafts, that people want to get away from.   (02/05/2021).
  "Right off the stop." -  a Jolly Old English phrase that is similar to "right out of the gate," the meaning right away or from the start.  Example:  "I didn't want to emasculate [Lino] right off the stop."   (09/22/2021)
  Rocks  (noun) – item used for shaving facial hair before razors were invented. Example: "Those guys in the Bible always looked scruffy because they shaved by rubbing rocks on their faces, just hoping the hair would come off." (11/1/2018)
 Rogue Hawk (noun) – a hooligan hawk that sweeps down and cuts the jugular arteries of people trying to cross the street.  These malicious birds are found only in the United States and do not exist in Italy.  Example:  "New York City is a scary place.  You must always be looking out for pick-pockets, prostitutes, and rogue hawks."  (8/1/19)
 Rolodex (noun) – A digital on-screen listing of streaming movies on-demand. Example:  "While parowsing the Netflix rolodex, I found an interesting documentary about the moon landing conspiracy."  (1/17/2018)
Rolodex of Memories - the mental files that store Tyler's many memories.  Example:  "I had to search through my rolodex of memories to recall the name of my first grade teacher." (5/11/23)
  Romance Languages  (noun) –  language created when taking an English or Spanish word and "romancing it up," which is typically taught in middle school Latin class.  For example, the word "save" becomes "salve" in a romance language.   (8/15/2018)
 Rotation Oven (noun) –   Muppet for “rotisserie oven.” Example:  "I wonder if the chicken thinks it's on a ferris wheel as it spins around the rotation oven?"  (10/3/17)
  Rotator Phones (noun) – an iconic telephone, characterized by a circular finger wheel used for dialing.  Known as "rotary phones" in common vernacular.  Example: "National Telephone Day is a good time to use one of those rotator phones."  (4/25/18)
Rotunda -  a roofed building with a ceiling, "like a mausoleum," that is built over a tomb.  Example:  "This cemetery includes several rotundas that are the final resting places for notable families."  (06/07/24)
 Round Young Virgin - a phrase describing the pregnant, youthful, motherly and childlike Virgin Mary in the classic Christmas song "Silent Night,".  Example: "Of course the song says, 'Round, young virgin, mother and child."  Who says "yon?""  (6/14/19, Podcast 373)

 “Rrrewhhhhhhhhhh” –  a growling sound used as a mating call during the flirting process that is loosely based on the familiar seductive rolling “r” purr. .  Described as the noise made by Chewbacca using a weedwacker, or Chewbacca dying a painful death.  See also “Flirting Process.”  (2/13/2018)

  "He can rub a couple of  sentences together." - Tyler's take on "put two sentences together."   (08/31/23)
Rule of Thumb  - a theory suggested by Pythagoras that conjectures that a priest's homily should be limited to only two points, so humans can easily keep track of the points on their two thumbs.  (3/18/22)
 Rumpelskiltskin –  a fictitious folk tale character who turns into a bat when his name is spoken.  The character's name includes many invisible and silent letters.  (10/07/19)
  "... now that I'm running this out loud again, this is not making sense..." - We think Tyler was going for "...saying this out loud again" but yeah, "running" works, too.  (1/16/23)

S

Tyler-Ism Library
  Saintitude  - the state of being holy, sacred, or saintly.  Example: "Saying that St. Patrick is overrated isn't a judgement of his actual saintitude."  (07/15/2021)
Salt – a "nothing" condiment that is picked out of the ocean.  Example: "If Tyler's career in broadcasting doesn't work out, he can always join the oceanic salt mines."  (10/5/22)
"Adding salt to the womb."  - Muppet for "salt in the wound."  Example:  "It's bad enough that Tom Brady won the Super Bowl;  him also winning MVP was just adding salt to the womb."  (5/11/22)
 “I would grab my sister's Samurai Sword and fight off an intruder trying to steal my tv, my dog, or my Audi.   (6/1/08)
  “Just throw more sand in the wound.”  Surely sand would be more irritating than salt when poured into a open wound. (03/25/2024)
 Schedrule (noun) –   Muppet for “schedule.”  The spoken “r” is an invisible letter.  Example:  "My daily schedrule includes video games from noon-4 p.m., and copius amounts of White Russians starting at 7 p.m. sharp."   (Podcast 301, 9/21/17)
 “Scissors are sharp.”  Tyler finds out that scissors are sharp when he tries to use them as a screw driver while repairing his broken bed.  (01/12/2021)
  Scootch - a very small unit of measurement.  Example:  "My favorite order at Baskin Robbins is a scoop of chocolate with just a scootch of caramel sauce on the side."  (10/2/20)
   Sea  (noun) – a body of water where the land surrounding the water can not be seen.  Example: "The Sea of Galilee is a pond, not a sea.  I can see the land right over there."    (3/15/18)  
“There's definitively laziness in there, but I think there's a lack of motivation that's the second hammer, if you will..."  - Tyler, on his work ethic.  (2/28/2022)
 Segment Turducken – A segment within a segment.  Often occurs when Lino decides to go to "Inside Catholic Baseball" while participating in "What's on Mark Hart's Heart."  (8/13/18)
 Seven Week Year Old - Muppet speak for newborn that is about seven weeks old.  Example:  "Going to Mass is too dangerous for a seven week year old with all the germs and everything!" (12/22/23)
  Sheep - slow and dumb animals that are considered to be "nature's D-Students."  Sheep are germy, spit on people, and lack depth perception and a lack of understanding on how gravity works.   If you do not shepherd sheep right, "they would just walk off a cliff and be dead."  Despite their suicidal tendancies, sheep are not anti-life, and are actually pro-life..  (1/3/20, Podcast 397))
 Sheik (noun)  – a Hindu, bald-headed, mustache-clad and wealthy oil baron.  Characterized as the guys with turbans in the movie Aladdin.   Example: “My dad said that I could be anything when I grow up, so I’m going to be a sheik.  I’ll be rolling in oil! ”  (2/15/18)
“... he shined up on me."  Muppet for "took a liking to me."  (10/01/2024)
 Shiny Jesus (noun) – Muppet reference to the transfigured Jesus, when he appeared in dazzling brightness to Peter and John on Mount Tabor, kind of like a Lite Brite. Example:  "Shiny Jesus is my favorite Jesus.  He's very useful when trying to find your keys in the dark."  (8/6/18 and previous)
  "YI probably was shooting above my skis."  (10/11/23)
  "Shooting from the seat of their pants..." - A Muppet twist on the phrase "shooting from the hip," or react suddenly without much thought.    (10/12/22)
 Shut-In  - a person who goes to work and on vacations but otherwise leaves the home only to obtain the bare essentials, and never "hangs-out" outside of his home.  Example: "I can't wait for the weekend.. that's when I do all of my grocery shopping and live like a shut-in."  (5/9/19)
 Sideways escalator / Ground escalator - a slow-moving conveyor that transports people across a horizontal or inclined plane.  Example:  "I always like the sideways escalators at the airport because they allow me to move with the least effort possible." (2/23/22 and 12/12/2023 )
  Simony -  the transition phase between Simon being renamed Peter.   (11/10/2021)

 Sin Turducken – a sin within a sin within a sin.    Term used to describe Lino’s sin of being jealous of other people’s greed.  (2/8/18)

 “I can't sing chapter and verse of every Star Wars movie that there is.”   Most people "cite" chapter and verse, but a true crooner like Tyler prefers to sing his resources.  (05/04/2021)
  “I'm not a video editor... I didn't grow up with that skill in my bag.”  With a sentence like this, we're wondering what skills does keep in his bag.  (12/18/2023)
 Smelling oils  (noun) - fragrances used to set the mood in preparation for the marital embrace.  Example: "No dame can resist my advances after she gets a wiff of the smelling oils I placed in the bedroom."  (5/29/19)
 “It's a smoke job!"  We're not exactly sure what it means, but after Lino expressed disappointment in losing a game, Tyler responded of his victory, "It's a smoke job!".  (08/03/2021)
  Smoke signals - a form of long-distance communication that points to where the wind is going.  Example:  "When I get lost, I just look for where the smoke signals are pointing to find my way home."  (9/10/20)
Snoop Dog  - a friend of Martha Stewart and also a famous "raptor." (9/15/23)
  Snowdrop - Korean for "snowflake," an insulting term for a person with an unwarranted sense of entitlement or who is easily offended.  Example:  "Britanee gets upset if anyone says that k-Pop is just manufactured rubbish.  She's such a snowdrop."   (08/27/2021)
  Sole Music (noun) –  often mistakenly called "soul" music, a genre created when people were not permitted to dance, that is "so good that you tap your feet" and is "foot tappingly good."  Example: "When Marvin Gaye sang "I Heard it Through the Grapevine," what he was really hearing was the soles of peoples' feet tapping away to the song."  (6/11/18)
Sound Whistle – Muppet for "slide whistle."  Example: "Tyler added a little sound whistle to the mix, making the new open a little more whimsical ."  (7/27/22)
 “You know... it sounded stupid on paper, but now that you thought it out, it's not bad."   Most people people see their errors when an idea is "put to paper," but it's the opposite in Tyler's world.  (10/15/2021)
  “[Tom Leopold actually] sounded together with it.”  Tyler was so surprised that Tom sounded "with it" on the show this day, that he added an extra word in there.  (12/20/2023)
 Soup chicken (noun) – a secret family recipe described as a chicken dish topped with a soupy sauce.  Example: “My mom featured her Soup Chicken recipe in her audition tape for Iron Chef: New Jersey.”  (1/30/18)
“Apparently a Spanish accent is not a golf club I have in my bag.”  – Tyler’s response to doing  poor impression of Julio Iglesias while singing "To All the Segments I’ve Ruined Before."  (Podcast 275)
 “Spick and spam.”  Muppet for the common phrase, "spick and span."  Example:  "The cleaning staff at SiriusXM works extra hard to keep Tyler's cage all spick and spam."  (10/5/2020)
  "I'm spinning a lot of plates on my hands." - Tyler's merging of "spinning a lot of plates," and "a lot on my hands."  (09/06/23)
 Splitting image -  the idiom meaning that someone or something that looks very much like someone or something else.  Example:  "Some people think that Lino is a splitting image of Mario's brother, Luigi."  (03/12/24)

 Sponsi (noun) – A confirmation candidate’s spon-sir. (1/30/2018)

  "He was able to squeeze a few minutes out of his time and be with us."   (10/30/23)

 Squirrel (noun) – one of the “American things,” squirrels are an agile, tree-dwelling rodent with a bushy tail that is native to America.   While squirrels are typically only found in America, some especially clever critters have managed to hijack boats and migrate to Europe.  (3/8/18)

 “Every once in a while, a blind nut finds a squirrel.” – Is Tyler the nut or the squirrel in this utterance?  Who knows. (Podcast 273, 1/26/17)
  St. Andrew - the "gateway apostle," who was responsible for introducing his younger brother, Peter, to the Son of Man, and ultimately getting Peter hooked on the Jesus.  (1/22/20)
 St. Anthony of Padua –  Tyler's first pick of a saint he'd most like to join for a drink.    According to Tyler, when you're out of drinks, call on St. Anthony and he'll spin around three times and find you more beverages.    (04/30/2018).
  St. Cecilia – a saint who was martyred by having her ears blown out (possibly by placing her head inside of a tuba), thus is now the patroness of music and musicians.  (11/22/19)
 St. Francis of Assisi –  defined in Muppet as “The book-nerd who was always writing and doing that sort of stuff.”  (Podcast 292, 7/17/17).  While Francis was a deacon, his legacy is remembered only as him being a "quitter" and someone who could have been a priests instead "if he wasn't so busy playing around with animals."  That's right, he said it.   (10/7/19).  Example: "When Jesus spoke to St. Francis, he said, “Yo, Frankie you nerd, get your nose outta that book about communicating with animals  and go rebuild my crib.”"

 St. Luke – a follower of Christ of whom nothing is known except what is known.  (10/18/17)

 Stagnate (verb) – Muppet for “stagger,” especially when describing the monthly hoodie rotation.  As Tyler explains, “one leads to the other, which leads to the other and then they’re kind of linked, sort of.  It’s a hard word to describe.”  (2/2/2018)

 “I was like, uh,  Stevie Wonder looking for a light switch. I was all over the place.” –  Tyler's explanation for why he was off key during a rejoin he produced.   (Podcast 282)
 Stone Age  (noun) – a period when people "lived around stone and pushed rocks around."  Also known as a "rock based culture" and marked as a time of more morons.  Example:  "Jesus unofficially lived in the Stone Age because his tomb was sealed by a large stone."   (4/4/18)
“... shop and go away rich..."  The status of a person who is so wealthy that they can tell people, "hey, you go away... I can do whatever I want."  (02/19/2025)
  Strategery - a fancy way to say "strategy."  The origin of "strategery" is attributed to both President George W. Bush, SNL, and now, Tyler.  Example:  "Lino is employing a little strategery to force a win in Family Feud."  (04/27/2021)
  Sub-mystery - the individual mysteries of the rosary that are meditated upon during prayer.  Example:  "The sub-mysteries of the Joyful mysteries are the annunciation, the visitation, the nativity, the presentation in the temple, and finding Jesus in the temple."   (08/23/2021)
 “Suck on them apples!"  Many people think the common phrase is "How do you like them apples," but the most patriotic farmers and Muppets know that is incorrect.  (07/23/2021)
 Super 8 – a hotel chain with a "poor reputation," known for it's general uncleanliness and "a lot of different fluids and things" strewn about the rooms. (12/18/19, Podcast 396)
 Super-Archbishop - The Latin Patriarch of The Holy Land area.  The Important Version of an Archbishop.

 Supposeably (adverb) – Muppet for “supposedly.  “I’m not vetting guests, I’m veting callers.  The guests are supposeably already vetted by Mark.”  (Podcast 292, 7/17/17)

 Supposevly (adverb) –  Alternate Muppet pronunciation for “supposedly.”  Example:  “The reason the Dutch wore wooden shoes was supposevly because leather wasn’t invented until the Renaissance.” (2/21/18)

"Swallow the bullet" - Muppet for "bite the bullet," or to decide to do something difficult or unpleasant that one has been putting off.  (6/17/22)
  Swerved - to take someone by surprise.  Example:  "Lino has always been a city guy, so it really swerved me when admitted to wanting to befriend a wild coyote."  (03/08/2021).
Swing dancing – a form of dancing that is characterized by snapping one's fingers and swinging one's hips. (12/06/19)

T

Tyler-Ism Library
  “...taking the prerogative.”   We know Tyler isn't great at taking initiative, put refusing to even use the word correctly is still surprising.  Example:  "Tyler isn't a fan of Josh Harnett's work, so it's not surprising to find him taking the prerogative to tear apart Harnett's performances."  (04/22/2024)
Talking Voice – a normal speaking voice.  Example: "Lino uses a normal talking voice when speaking into the microphone."  (10/18/22)
  Tapioca -  a piece of textile fabric with pictures or designs formed by weaving colored threads, used as a wall hanging or furniture covering.  Example:  "Mark gifted Lino a personalized tapioca to hang on his office wall."  (01/06/2022)

 Taxonomy (noun) – the stuffing of dead animals.     Example: “The reason that you never see bears in taxonomy is because they’re very fast and hard to capture.”  (3/7/18)

  "You can't teach a dog new tricks." - Dogs are born with all the skills that they will ever have.  Don't even try to teach 'em stuff.   (06/23/23)
Teeth of Traffic – Muppet for "rush hour traffic."  Example: "Lino found himself stuck right in the teeth of traffic while on his way to Target to buy the Cardinal a Christmas present ."  (02/09/23)
  Tenants (noun) –  a principle or belief, especially one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy.  Often referred to as "tenets" by non-Muppet speakers.  Example:  "My landlord is always talking about his tenants.  I didn't even know he was a religious guy."  (6/27/18).
 “That nails me in a nutshell."  A Muppet-mash up of two different phrases.  (2/3/2022)
 Theory of Historical Attribution - the premise that Tyler should be able to claim credit for any new-to-him thought or idea, even if the same concept is already first attributed to someone else in history.  Per Tyler's argument, it's "not fair" that historical figures can take credit for their ideas or inventions because "they shouldn't get credit for that idea, when anyone could have come up with that" same idea later.  Tyler further conjects that the Wright brothers were able to invent the airplane only because "they were around" before Tyler was alive and able to invent the airplane himself.  This theory does not apply to Tyler, or anything new created after 1988.  (1/14/20)  

 “You feeling frisky tonight?  Here’s some thigh… or whatever.”   Tyler explaining how he uses Step 1 of the Flirting Process.  Wearing of shorts, Speedos or jhorts encouraged.   (2/13/18)

 “There's a very thin line between genius and stupid.”  Yes, the intelligence of Stephen Hawking and a simple carrot are only a thin line of dental floss apart.   (06/04/2019, Podcast 372)
  "You have to thin the needle of trying to... [both] funny and having a nice conversation, but ... not going too far and being insulting" - A Muppet twist on the phrase "thread the needle," or striking a balance between conflicting things.    (9/12/22)
“If you came across that on your own, fair enough.  But for someone to throw that into your attention...”.  Normal people bring facts to someone's attention.  In Tyler's world, all new information is hurled like a grand slam baseball.  (07/15/2024)
 “I've pretty much given up on hope.  I mean, that's something that I've pretty much thrown out the back window, so to speak."  Always remember, that only the back windows are to be used when trashing your hope.  (01/06/2020)
  Thumb my eye (phrase) –to do something contrary to what is expected or is the stereotype.  Example: "Fans were shocked when Mark passed on a second dessert at dinner.  His response was to gesture only with a thumb in his eye ."  (02/13/19)
“It does feel a tidbit Rube Goldberg-esque.”   Tidbit?  Tad?  Tadbit?  Even little words are complicated for Tyler.  (06/25/2024)
 “...tied his rocks to body."   Example:  "St. Josephat was martyred when they tied his rocks to body and threw him in the river.  (1/27/2022)
"Tip of  (your/my/everyone's) mind" - A Muppet-combination of "top of the mind" and "tip of the tongue." Example:  "The no-meat-on-Friday rule was at the tip of my mind, but I forgot and ate veal anyway."  (Proof that old Muppets can't learn new tricks:  03/4/22, 05/24/23, 08/18/2023 and 05/02/2024)
  Tobaggans (noun) –  a native or inhabitant of Tobago, a country that no one has ever heard of.   Example: "The movie "Cool Runnings" was about a tobaggan bobsledding team."  (6/15/18)

 Tom Brady – AKA Satan.  Tyler’s mortal enemy.

   The Tomb Conspiracy (noun) – A Veghtean conspiracy theory that suggests that Jesus' body was lost by the disciples after a bad government operation placed it in the wrong tomb.  (4/2/18)    
Tony! Toni! Toné!  - Pronounced "Tony" x 3, an American soul/R&B group popular during the late 1980s and early to mid-1990s.  (5/18/22)
Toupee (noun) – an artificial hairpiece worn to hide a bald spot.  Wearing of such an accessory is known as "adultery of the scalp."  (5/22/2017)
Transactionary -  Muppet for "transactional." Example: "But I was trying to make it sound less transactionary."  (12/12/24)
 Transatlantic/Transkatlantic/Transtsatlantic  -  a type of flight that crosses the Atlantic ocean.  The actual pronunciation is "one of those, certainly."   (04/16/19)
 Trap Shooting  (noun) – a method of game hunting "where you wait for an animal to be in a trap and then you shoot it." Example: "The zoo would be the ideal setting for a hunter who's into trap shooting." (10/22/2018)
  Trapes (noun) – A pair of curtains that cover a window.   Example:  “If you spend your weekends listening to Dave Matthews Band and shopping for new trapes, you may be the dullest person in America.”  (11/13/19)
 Trash theory – a Muppetonian theory that suggests that the greatness of a place corresponds to the amount of trash found there.  The more trash found in a location, the more likely that place was a great spot at one time. (11/20/19)

 “The turd in the punchbowl is Mark is a genius, which kind of stinks, but I’m very happy how I scored and that I’m better than Fr. Jim at thinking stuff.”   Kind of ironic that there is feces in Tyler’s punchbowl, but it’s Mark’s IQ score that stinks.    (Podcast 305, 10/24/17)

 Turducken of impressions –  describes when Tyler does an impression of Lino doing an impression of Tyler.  (Podcast 286, 5/26/17).
 “Two chances for the price of your money.”  A phrase that "could make sense" that is used when you have two chances to succeed, when using "the one money that you have."  (9/30/2020)
  “Those are the two, number-one questions.”   This one makes neither logical or mathematical sense.  (04/18/2024)

U

Tyler-Ism Library
Ubstract -  Muppet for "abstract."  Example:  "Tyler's explanation of transubstantiation was not only ubstact, but also just wrong."  (7/6/22)
"Undercoverishly / Undercoveredishly -  the state of being undercover.  Example:  Tyler snuck into the Mass to record the priest's homily undercoverishly.  (6/20/22)
  Undeviled eggs - an unspicy deviled egg.  (06/17/2021)
Unlimited Fists –  Tyler argues that he has "unlimited fists" to use in a fight:  "I like to punch anywhere I can and hope that whatever fist I hit, lands... you can either punch up or down... I like to throw a punch with whatever fist I can... it depends on what my rhythm is.... I count each new punch as a new fist... technically, [I have] unlimited fists."  (4/10/23)
  Unrhythmatic  - having no rhythm, especially while dancing.  See also "white person dance."   Example:  "Tyler might be unrhythmatic while dancing along to his greatest hits, but he's not afraid to let loose."  (03/12/2021)
 Up his wheelhouse – a  idiom made by the consummation of "up his alley" and "in his wheelhouse," meaning within one's area of expertise or interest.  Example:  "I always go to Mark with my Bible questions, because that kind of stuff is up his wheelhouse."  (12/17/19)
  “...went up the sprout again.”   Muppet nursery rhymes sound a little different than the human ones.  (05/01/2024)

V

Tyler-Ism Library
 Vacation Bible School (noun) – a ministry where volunteer substitute teachers stand in for normal Bible School teachers who are on vacation.   The ideal candidate for the volunteer substitute "don't use no bad language or drugs in front of the kids" and is willing to "snack with 'em and nap with 'em."  (Podcast 272, 01/18/17).
  Vámonos papam - the announcement proclaimed upon the election of a new pope.  Example:  "Jorge Bergoglio knew it was time to skedaddle to the balcony when he heard "Vámonos papam!" shouted over the loud speakers.  (8/24/20)
Candlelight Vigil -  the "g" in vigil is pronounced with a soft "g," as in the word "genre."  (07/11/24)
 Virulent (adjective) – meaning on guard or attentive, used in speech when it's "the right word to use at the time."   Example:  “Sr. Scholastica was very virulent not to consume too much alcohol at the parish picnic, else she end up becoming Sr. Schwasted, again.”  (10/17/19).
  Visions - dreams that a person has while awake.  Example:  "St. Faustina is known for having visions of Jesus and the Divine Mercy image."  (10/5/20)
Vouging – Muppet for "vouching," meaning to confirm that something is true or accurate.  Example: "Everyone wonders who is vouging for Tyler, seeing that he doesn't get fired for his screw-ups."  (12/19/22)

W

Tyler-Ism Library
  “People are waiting on baited breath.”   A Tyler mash-up of "on pins and needles" and "with baited breath."  Example:  "People are waiting on baited breath to hear about Lino's haircut experience."  (04/23/2024)
" “Just waiting out the string..."  A Muppet combination of "playing out the string" and "waiting out the storm."  Example:  "Lino wasn't a great wrestler, but stayed on the team anyway, just waiting out the string."  (2/24/2022)

 Water Fountain (noun) – a machine that produces a small stream of water for drinking. Not found in the United States.  (12/4/17)

  "Water lifts all boats." - Tyler's version of "a rising tide lifts all boats."  Example:  "As JFK once said about the economy, "water lifts all boats."  (05/26/23)
Weed Den  - a musky, small room where one smokes weed.  Example:  "Snoop Dogg made sure to include a weed den in the blue prints of the construction of his new home."  (6/8/22)
Well Panned – to be loved.  Example: "Lino's coverage of the election of Pope Francis was well panned by all."  (01/12/23)
 “What proof extra do you need?"  We wonder if Tyler was imbibing in some "100 Proof: when coming up with this argument.  (08/25/2021)
  "... the what to" -  (phrase) - Muppet for "the what for," meaning to reprimand or punish.  Example:  "My mom is starting to fight me on pushing dinner back further and further... Boy, I'm just not having it.  I'm trying to give her the "what to," but she's not listening."  (6/29/20)

 “… or whatever” – phrase quickly thrown onto the end of any sentence to inarticulately and ineffectively add depth and context.   Example: “At my hockey camp, kids will learn to whittle their own hockey sticks, how to use tube socks for padding and how to talk Canadian…………… or whatever.”

 Wheat bread  - Tyler's favorite brand of bread.  Example: "Wonder Bread may be a staple in many households, but my favorite brand is wheat."  (5/13/19, Podcast 369)
  "... a whole 'nother ball game to handle..." - a Muppet-mix for "a whole another story" and "a different ballgame."  Example:  As if pilgrimages with nasty listeners weren't hard enough, Lino discovered that also managing Tyler on the trip as a whole 'nother ball game to handle."  (3/13/23)
 William Shakespeare  - an English poet, playwright and actor, who invented about 25 words now used in English today (half of all words in the English language).  Example: "Thanks to Shakespeare, we now have sentences like "The dauntless bandit sprained his elbow when trying to steal his neighbor's skim milk."   (5/2/2019)
 Wine  - an alcoholic drink made from fermented grapes that was invented by the French.   The ancient Francs tribes introduced wine to the roman empire.  It's also important to note that wine is not consumed in China.   (5/9/19)
 Winimum (noun) – Muppet for minimum.  The least or smallest amount or quantity possible, attainable, or required. Example: "Gus puts in winimum effort every day."  (5/19/17)
 Witch Doctor Science -  an alternative medicine belief that does not utilize pharmaceuticals.  Example:  "I'm more of a chemicals and drugs kind of guy... so [using salt water to clear phlegm] sounded like witch doctor science to me."  (02/12/24)
  "I attract too many women from the opposite sex." - evidently, Muppet genders are a completely different thing.   (03/27/23)
 Wood (noun) – Something not found “back in Jesus’ day.” Example:  "Despite assumptions that Jesus' manger was made of wood, this isn't accurate as wood wasn't invented until well after his earthly ministry."   (10/31/17)
 Wood fire (noun) – where zoo animals are sent for extermination when they do not fulfill their job of putting on a show for the zoo patrons.  "When the black bears at the zoo start moving a little to slow, the zookeepers send them off to the wood fire."  (4/4/18)  
 Wood harvest (noun) – the period of gathering all of the freshly grown wood in the Holy Land, that occurs November-December of each year (thus availability of wood for baby Jesus' manger).  Agricultural history shows the harvested wood is collected in stone wagons.  In poor wood harvest seasons, farmers must take to stone working.    Example:  "The walls of Jericho were built with stone due to nearly a decade of poor wood harvest."  (7/30/19)
Words – defined by Tyler as, "just a bunch of letters jammed together that people make mean stuff.  (03/14/23)
Work-job – a job at which one works.  Example: "The Bible doesn't mention any of work-jobs that Jesus did before his ministry started."  (8/2/22)
  "Workin' 9 to 5, ain't no way to make a living..." - Tyler's take on Dolly Parton's iconic song.  Watch out, Ms. Parton... Tyler might try to be your producer next!   (08/31/23)
 “Your pain lead to something else for your show.  Maybe this is one of those ways that God works in crooked lines, or whatever that saying is."   (01/17/2020)
World Wind  - a phrase used to describe a high-paced short duration international trip.  Ex: "Lino Rulli is finally back from his world wind trip with Cardinal Dolan to Poland, Slovakia, and Ukraine! Hear all about it and more today at 4PM EST!" (4/4/22)
 “Worth a pillar of salt.” – phrase that indicates the measure of a Catholic.  Tyler used it in this context, “If I as an atheist know it, then most Catholics worth a pillar of salt know it."  When challenged that this is not an actual phrase, Tyler responded: “Yes it is.  I heard it on Netflix.”

 Worthers Originals (noun) – chocolate for old people.  First made in 1820’s.  Production also stopped in 1820’s (or in 1900’s, when Hershey’s came around).  Commercially known as “Werther’s Original” candies.  (3/5/18)


X

Tyler-Ism Library
 XO, Jesus  - Jesus' closing line in his written letters, offering hugs and kisses.  Sometimes confused with "exegesis".  Example: "My peeps, Love one another as I have loved you.  XO, Jesus."  (5/29/19, Podcast 371)

Y

Tyler-Ism Library
  Yeti  (noun) – quoted as "one of those things that scares people in the Alps, or whatever".   A yeti sub-species is also known to live in the snowy Himalayas, after migrating from the Alps.  Example:  "You haven't seen a yeti in the Alps.  You don't know it doesn't exists there."  (7/22/19).  

Z

Tyler-Ism Library
Zoos – a facility that has a collection of animals, through which families, children, and single people waltz through.  Example: "Families, children, and single people waltzed past the she-bears in the zoo."  (10/12/22)

#

Tyler-Ism Library
 10 - Per Tyler, "an uneven number... when you're trying to divide it into twelve." Example:  "Some Catholics go to confession ten times a year, which is strange, because ten is an uneven number."  (10/14/20)
  33 and 1 hours long  - the total time of Charles Lindbergh's transatlantic flight from New York to Paris.   (04/16/19)
  37 (noun) –  A number between 100 and 300  (6/12/2018).  Also, "the most random number based on a gut feeling and experience lived." (11/16/2020), and a "way of life."  (10/12/2023)
6, half dozen, or the other –  the "common knowledge" way of comparing similar things.  If taken literally, it refers to 36 different items as the result of 6 multiplied by 6. Often mistaken for “six of one, half dozen of the other.”  (1/23/2018)  (Podcast 317)   – Requested Entry by Mark Hart
64  - the number resulting when doubling 37.  Ex: "A chessboard has 64 squares, or a double-37." (5/11/22)