Sponsors2018-11-15T08:32:04+00:00

About Us

BearsAreFast is a fandom splinter group of “The Catholic Guy” show, an afternoon drive radio show heard across the North and Fake Americas on SiriusXM Satellite Radio Channel 129.

This elite team is the #NastyPriest IT Department to Fr. Jim Chern (named one of the busiest college priests in the world by Campus Minister Monthly). The foursome began their careers as a side dish stirrer at Boston Market, a community landscape laborer, a bread stick maker at Fazoli’s and a part-time Viagra distributor. The troupe boast awards including the highly sought “Outstanding Kindergartner of the Week” award (’96), consecutive “Best Chili in a Workplace” awards, a third place ribbon in the US Post Office stamp design contest (’92), and the winner of the invitation-only “New Jersey Beer Pong Tournament.”

Between them, the team has watched a bear-crap load of documentaries and other programming downloaded from the internet. They’re too lazy to fact-check, but some of those shows probably won the Scripps-Howard National Journalism Award, and the Edward R. Murrow Award. None of them watched “The Last Flagraiser” – a World War II documentary co-produced by Lino Rulli.

From 1998-2004, the gang was between 9-23 years old, and mostly played video games, watched sports, listened to New Kids on the Block, and spent hours ripping off Catholic radio show hosts web pages. Oddly enough, those things haven’t changed much in the last 20 years.

Bears Are Fast boasts four fancy degrees in applied physics, applied science and technology, communications, and advanced food canning, but no master’s degrees in theology (because reading is hard). They’ve lived in Florida with strippers, in Wisconsin with cheese, in Indiana with Dan Quayle, and in Illinois with state-wide corruption. They’ve all visited Minnesota at the same time (it’s a real US state) to visit the Target that sells liquor. They currently live in New Jersey, Wisconsin, Kansas, and Pennsylvania and are the coolest folks in their respective cities. And if you’re still reading this, and you are Michael Melo, we look forward to your criticism on social media.  

The Crew

This site has been made possible by:

[email protected]

Tyler’s Microphone
Tyler’s Microphone

tylers_mic

[email protected]

Fake Tyler
Fake Tyler

FakeTylerV

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Lino’s Apartment Rat
Lino’s Apartment Rat

RatInfestedNYC

[email protected]

Hooray4Rob
Hooray4Rob

Hooray4Rob

[email protected]

Testimonials

So grateful to the IT team. First they re-designed my website and now they’ve got my homilies on iTunes as a podcast for those who’ve asked for them to be there.

Fr, Jim Chern

This Site Sponsored by:

Muppet Fur Brand Shampoo

Do you have Nasty Muppet Fur? Try our new Muppet Fur Hair and Body Wash. Our Special Formula will leave your fur feeling less nasty. Find it in a store near you.

Tyler’s Skool for English as a First Language

Do you have difficulty navigating the English Language? Is Reading Hard? Do you regularly flummox words? Then the Tyler’s Skool for English as First Language is for you. Contact him today to enroll! Classes are filling up, so act now! *Actual Results May Vary.

Tylerol

Did you try attending Tyler’s English As a First Language Skool and have had “Varied Results”?  Do you have difficulty getting up in the morning because you have to look forward to hearing the Nasty Muppet?  Then Tylerol is for you!  One simple pill and you will be feeling great and all your Tyler woes will just melt away.  Get it at a drugstore near you.

TheCatholicGameShow.com

Have you always wanted to hit the Nasty Muppet?  Have you wanted to knock his lights out?  Well then you are a #NastyListener!  But if you happen to be a Nasty Listener and this is what you are craving, then thanks to @Hooray4Rob you can get out your frustration in a constructive way.  Check out TheCatholicGameShow.com for a number of games to pass the time between breaks!